What’s your recipe for an idyllic life? Recipes. Ah. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” Speaking of which… The secret to a clean kitchen? Don’t cook – ever. When I learned how to cook, I forgot how to clean. My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines. But moving right along…
You may have family, friends, and even a career you adore. Do you still feel as though something is missing? Can you tell me what makes your life purposeful or powerful? Is what you do meaningful or monumental? Perhaps you feel pulled in many directions all at once.
Whom do you choose to spend the most time with? You surely will not be gaining insight or incentive by surrounding yourself with downbeat or defeatist people. Positive people also have negative thoughts, you know. They simply don’t allow those thoughts to control them. Trust me, negative people have a problem for every solution.
Perhaps you crave status, more money, or even power. All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. Yes, the grass is always greener when it’s covered in money. Then again, you might be having an “out-of-money” experience.
The truth is that we humans only feel truly fulfilled when we are working on and improving ourselves. Having a sense of accomplishment is not the same as having a deep sense of purpose. While it’s awesome to achieve your goals, having a mission and a why and wherefore for your life offers profound fulfillment.
We all crave guarantees and certainty. Perhaps you’ve simply become too comfortable and content where you are in life. Sure, you may not want to rock the boat. But did you ever notice that only the guy who isn’t rowing has time to rock the boat? Sometimes you need to flip that boat right over.
Know how you sabotage yourself. What is the story you tell yourself about who you are? Are you still doing battle with your past? Are you self-loathing or self-loving? Are you the quarterback of your life? Please do not be directed or dominated by your fears. Ask yourself if you are truly living up to your potential and promise.
Take the time to see if the pathway you are on is leading you in the direction you wish to go. We all hit speed bumps, stop lights, and winding roads. You have a fear of speed bumps, but you’re slow in getting over it? Did it ever occur to you that you can change course? Ever feel like a yellow traffic light? No one pays attention to them either.
Has anything you have done possibly changed the life of another person? Helping others is a surefire way to find or add significance and sense to your life. Imagine how it feels to make a positive impact on the world. Leave your own unique footprint or mark. If you walk in others’ footprints, you will never make any of your own. Leave this world in a better place than you found it.
Instead of being crushed by your suffering, please try turning your hurts into health and healing. Of course, when you feel appreciated, you fuel your desire to help others even more. While many of us end up doing what others expect of us and what society demands, we lose our own aim or aspirations.
Are you living someone else’s version of success or achievement? Have you lost your inner compass? Of course, you can’t lose your moral compass if you never had one. Anyway, my sense of direction is terrible. Not sure where I was going with this. Don’t fret, sweet friends. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.
Perhaps you need to spend less time looking outward. Find the quiet and look inward. You can dream big but start small. A risk a day. One baby step. Share your visions with a trusted friend or loved one. Pause for a moment, please. Fill in the blank: My life feels complete when I am _____.
You are not too old, and it is not too late. Heck, at least you’re not as old as you will be next year. But truly, tis never too late to do what brings you joy and happy days. Begin each day as if on purpose, sweet friends. Now go out there and start saving the world.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
