After 500 articles with this paper, I kind of feel like I need to get something off my chest:

I think that people have to come up with more original things to say to me when they meet me in public.  It’s basically been the same eight lines for the last decade.  I’m a little bit done with these.

Now that Pesach is over, we can actually start with the spring cleaning, and everyone in your house that previously said, “No, that’s spring cleaning,” is, by their word, going to be available to help.  But first, while you wait for them to gather, you’re going to want to clean out your email inbox.  This has nothing to do with Pesach, of course, as most rabbis are actually saying now that emails are not chometz.  But you’ve just gotten the message that your inbox is 92% full and you have to drop everything and take care of it right now, even though if it took 20 years to get 92% full, then mathematically you have a year and a half to take care of it.