You know the feeling of lying under a really heavy, soft blanket? Even though it’s all weighty and dense, it still feels so utterly familiar and comfortable. Yikes, change it for something lighter? That’s too unnerving. Talk about embracing the unfamiliar. Welcome to our unprecedented, unaccustomed new life, where the government seems to have a problem for every solution. You just checked your account balance at the ATM and it printed you coupons for ramen noodles. I know. Let’s be honest. Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars.
You want to take a sick day because you’re sick of people? If one more person posts a virtual happy hour, tips on organizing cabinets, or how to whip up one more dang recipe, I’m gonna go berserk. I get it. We’ve all heard the tune. Life is a menu; so be careful what you order because that is what will be delivered to your table. Speaking of menus, you can use my mantra: Open the oven and take a look; the first to complain is tomorrow’s cook. But seriously, who summoned this state of affairs? The world is throwing us stones, yet they tell us to keep looking for diamonds. Hint: Exchange them and tell the salesperson: “My husband bought the wrong size. I wear a three-karat diamond.” But sad to say, as long as people accept anything they hear, it will be profitable for the powers that be to dispense it.
Another bad day? Well, a bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it. Can someone text me a cup of coffee? The truth is that we have our armor and all our defenses to presumably protect us from ever getting hurt. You know what I believe: Humor is just another defense against the universe. What is out of the ordinary can terrify us. We would rather recreate dynamics from our childhoods, no matter how painful they were, than take the risk of something unfamiliar and new. Speaking of childhood, did you also talk into the fan to hear your robot voice? And I’ll bet you drew the sun in the corner of every paper. Me, too.
It is oddly tragic yet ironic, my friends, that doing small things that you enjoy may be your saving grace at this time. You are the only person in your head, so please stop pushing the buttons of weakness and insecurity. We’re not able to see the future so stop relying on “someday.” You simply cannot decompress if your mind is working overtime and on high alert all day long.
You’re one drink away from telling everyone what you really think. If we allow the government rules or this “Rona” nightmare to dictate all our feelings, we cannot be anything but miserable and melancholy. You must intentionally choose happiness. You may have to fight the battle more than once. When you feel that negativity swelling up, what do you do? Do you even know how to put yourself in a happy state? Find something that lets you un-spool the tangles that build up in your mind. Running, reading, gardening, baking, eye-rolling? Don’t knock it. Someday I’m going to eye-roll myself into another dimension.
Can we just scratch the whole “adult” thing today? We may wish to feel numb right about now. But if you can’t feel pain, sweet friends, you can’t feel joy. A full life is full of feelings. Things are going to unfold and will be what they are; so we may as well surrender and simply allow them to. How tight is your grip on life? All the resistance in the world will not undo the fact that we have all hit a wall named “Corona.” My train of thought about it derailed. Trust me, there were no survivors. But, remember, some people marry prison pen pals; so your life choices aren’t that bad.
You must learn to bathe in positive thoughts and realize that you deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else. Focus first on the last thing you want.
Hibernation mode is still activated? There is no reason to go down in flames. These temporary setbacks will not unravel you if you do not let them. Do not harbor resentment all day long. It will hold you a prisoner unto yourself. If you simply cannot summon up the energy to do anything but breathing, please go out and do it in the sunlight. And while you’re at it, don’t let anyone steal your sunshine.
Become aware of the little things like the neighbor who just waved to you. Close your eyes and try to envision a happy memory from the past. Ahhhh. Don’t forget your self-care ritual, whatever it may be. The most important decision you have to make today is to be in a good mood. Above all, don’t let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
