Dating Today

I wasn’t sure whether to publish this letter or not. I decided to publish it because I don’t shy away from topics that are affecting our frum community because the topics are not rated G and appropriate for pre-teens to be exposed to. Years ago, I published a letter from a young woman who was dating someone who smoked marijuana. She didn’t know what to do. What should I have done? Should I have responded, “No. This column will not answer such a question because of young readers we don’t want to give ideas to”? OR because “this is an issue that the secular world faces, not the frum world”? Puh-lease! Keep ignoring what’s in front of you or playing ignorant to what’s happening to some of our brothers and sisters, then there really will be an issue. I’ve always said, whatever happens in the secular world happens in the frum world. Unfortunately, people think it’s all taboo to speak about and that’s wrong. We need to speak about it and make it the norm, so if people have a question or problem, they feel comfortable asking someone without the threat of being ridiculed.

Dear Goldy:

My son is 27 and began dating an older woman. She’s 33 and divorced. It’s not that I don’t like her; I don’t even know her. But I don’t think my son needs to be dating older divorced women. He’s young enough to see what single girls his age are out there.

A decade ago, I sent an anonymous letter to the Yated. It was a thank-you letter to klal Yisrael. I wanted to reach as many people as possible in klal Yisrael and figured the readership of the Yated was a good way to reach many. A decade ago, a member of my family needed a r’fuah sh’leimah. Doctors were baffled at the disease her body was trying to fight.

I’ve always said that having differences of opinion is good for a relationship. But some take that too far. Too many times I have heard that a couple stopped dating “because he/she thought that ______. I mean, isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard?” No. Breaking up with them over that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard – or one of the Top Ten.

Dear Goldy:

I’m writing to you to settle an issue I’m having with my sister. My sister is certain you’ll agree with her. And obviously, I’m certain you’ll agree with me. We need you to break the tie and really put an end to the whole thing.

Keeping with the theme of June graduations, I, too, have pearls of wisdom I’d like to pass along to daters, new and experienced. I have so much to write, to pass on, but I’m limited by space and the number of words I’m allotted. Below are just a few points I wanted daters to read. There are many more, and no I don’t think these are the most important, which is why they are here. They were randomly chosen from my mind.