I like to give credit where it is due, and if I quote a movie, song, or teacher, I mention the source. This time, however, forgive me that I do not remember the source of what I am about to write about. All I remember is that it is a male comedian, and it was one of his sets called, “I Tried My Best.”

 We all know the feeling of being involved in an argument and having the greatest one liner, a real zinger. But instead of having your mic-drop moment where you can leave knowing you had indeed won the argument or proven your point, you say nothing. The comment would be 100% truthful, but would hit below the belt. You would be the victor - but at what price? Making someone feel bad or by embarrassing them? Is it worth the pain that the other person may feel so you can have your mic-drop moment? Think about it. Life goes on and this moment will be a blip or less than a blip on your radar in a year or two. But the other party may feel the aftershocks of what is now a distant memory for you in the years to come. The comment may be embarrassing, something they wanted no one to know. Maybe they told you in confidence, maybe you found it out through unnamed but very reliable sources (aka loshon hora), but your rational side, the side not involved in this argument, knows that this statement is better left unsaid for so many reasons.

Believe it or not, I have been waiting for this type of letter to be sent to me. Yes, I could have always chosen to write about the topic, but I decided to wait until someone chose to pick this topic to write about. It has been close to a year, but the email finally came. The reason I waited is because I want the readers of this column to read the words the writer chose and hear the passion in her voice. Only a person who believes in something strongly will have the emotion needed to get her message across to others. I am answering from the side of reality. I’m not for or against what the writer is writing, because I know some who are doing just what she is talking about and are doing fine.

Dear Goldy:

I am so frustrated! I don’t know if I’m dating the wrong type of men or if this is how men are acting now, but I can’t stand it. The last few guys I went out with never seemed like they were in a rush for anything having to do with dating. For work, I’m sure they were on time, and I’m sure they were never late for dinner, as my mom says; but when it came to dating, they were very S…L...O…W, relaxed if you will, not in any rush. And it was more than just being cautious and careful about choosing the right person to date and marry; it was like they almost couldn’t be bothered with dating.