As a Jew who eats bagels once a year and skips lunch on Yom Kippur, I denounce the ethnic cleansing and genocide of the family of Haman and the people of Shushan who supported him. As Rabbi Linda told me while she was moving her yarmulke to put on her tefillin: There is no reason for the Jews who have colonized this ancient Persian culture to overreact because of a simple lottery result.  All Jews of conscience must denounce Mordechai.

(This one is not a parody. It is based on actual events with real quotes used)

The official renaming of the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America was signed in an executive order by President Donald J. Trump, but he did not conceive of this idea. It originated with late night comic Stephen Colbert and then appeared in a legislative proposal in 2012 by Mississippi state Representative Steve Holland, a Democrat. “We don’t want any reference to Mexico or Hispanics of any nature,” he said at the time, clearly not intending his joke to take on a life of its own.

Despite losing diplomatic, financial, and military support, Ukraine continues to hold its front line on the outskirts of Toretsk, Pokrovsk, and within the Kursk region of Russia. “Ukraine shouldn’t last a day without American support,” Trump said after his meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymir Zelenskyy. “How would they fight without the Bradley and Abrams tanks? I can’t imagine how they have so much intelligence on the Russians after Elon Musk cut off access to Starlink.”

President Trump has repeatedly referred to Canada as the 51st state and its premier as Governor. The implication is that Canada is going to become part of the United States. This has not been well received in Canada. The new prime minister, Mark Carney, referred to Trump’s comments about Canada being the 51st state as being the Voldemort of comments. In response, Voldemort put out a statement that he would not have said that about Canada, a good friend and strong ally.