Do you ever feel as though you gave up way too soon? You abandoned a project before it was complete. You feel like some things are simply way more challenging than you ever expected them to be. Well, you know what they say: The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Perhaps you feel like it’s settling if you have a moderately good job. There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? It’s been said: The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. You were never taught that life will offer some necessary degrees of suffering along the way. Sure, life is chock full of opportunity, but love, among other things, is a lot more complex than we imagined.
Results may look easy, but successful people will be the first to testify about the huge sacrifices they made to become that way. Be prepared, sweet friends. Accept that indeed many things in your life will go wrong. That is simply the nature of things. Then again, it’s been said: If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
How well can you withstand the hard times? Do you have coping skills to handle life stressors? We live in trying times, so do keep up with your physical and mental health, please. It’s never too late to start exercising. That’s why I’m waiting till later. But seriously, stay open to new ideas and opportunities. You may have to make the best out of a situation that feels like the absolute worst.
Be patient with yourself, please. Try not to let one mistake or misunderstanding ruin your entire day. Do not focus on or zero in on the bad things. Cultivate an optimistic, hopeful mindset.
Do not dwell on what might have been. What you can do is to move on gracefully and learn from your past mistakes. Then again, I heard it said: My new year’s resolution is to put enough weight on this year so I can lose it next year.
Devote and dedicate yourself to what you can do in the present. Make sure your friends are the ones who will genuinely celebrate your highs and offer you a shoulder to cry on during your lows.
Do you actually ask for help when you need it? Take that break when you need it, please. If you take things too personally, you may not acknowledge that there may be other factors involved. Do not allow rejection to get the best of you.
Sort out your emotions by spending some time alone. What have you learned about your inner self this month? How do you talk to yourself? Yes, it is quite normal to engage in self-talk; but what you say inside your head truly matters.
Reflect upon yourself to learn how to manage your feelings. Positive talk will help motivate you and can get you through a bad day. However, negative self-talk will severely impact your mood and attitude. To tackle everyday tasks, you may chat up a friend. But you can regulate your own feelings by reminding yourself that you are capable and can indeed handle the challenge.
Do not frequently criticize yourself. You are not to blame for everything that is wrong in your life or in the world. What tone do you use when you talk to yourself? Are you compassionate or at least neutral?
Emotionally mature people can manage their feelings and know how to de-escalate a disagreement. Start by identifying what you feel. You may be carrying anger from a long time ago, sweet friends. Remind yourself that you need not act on your feelings.
Reality bites, but please take responsibility for your actions. It’s been said: The hardest thing you can hit people with is the truth. Hold yourself accountable and do find a role model. Whom do you admire? Ask yourself in a tough situation: What would they do? Does he have a great work ethic? How does she handle criticism?
If you point out your faults every time you pass a mirror, you will have a harsh thinking pattern, which will make you feel negatively about yourself. Heck, I might get a job cleaning mirrors; it’s definitely a job I can see myself doing. But truly, always seek practical solutions on how to resolve your stress.
No, you do not have all the answers even if your opinion is very strong. Please stay open-minded and hear her out. You may just learn something. Even if you disagree, you may understand him a bit better.
Find a way to be at peace with yourself. Be patient with yourself and others. Do not act on impulse. Always pause, reflect, and choose how you wish to react. If you live in the present, you can enjoy the life happening right now in front of you.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
