When we see others suffer, oftentimes we vicariously agonize for them, too. We can even get compassion fatigue if we have continued exposure to others’ distress. Many of us feel uneasy going about our daily lives, even if the trauma is not directly related to our current situation, because in fact – it is.
You may perceive that you are emotionally exhausted these days and low on energy. They say that being an adult is pretty easy. You just feel tired all the time and tell people about how tired you are, and they tell you how tired they are. Listen, on a scale of 1–tired, today I’m Sleeping Beauty.
But seriously, you may feel as though you are literally absorbing others’ tragedies and tribulations. It can become so overwhelming that you feel your tank is literally empty. You have to find some fuel for that empty tank, sweet friends. I know. As you were filling up your gas tank this week, you realized you didn’t want to eat anyways.
But truly, you may even feel guilty for not being “there” to help. You might be overestimating the amount of responsibility you have or how much you can realistically do at this time. Have you become much more protective of your family members and loved ones now? Indeed, your parenting style may change. We all know that the hardest part of parenting is trying to be fake mad when your kid does something bad but hilarious.
But sincerely, many of us feel overwhelmed with anxiety and just want to feel safe in the arms of our loved ones. The amygdala in your brain, which recognizes potentially harmful situations, may be triggering the flight or fight reaction.
Many have become cynical and severely disillusioned at this time. This collective trauma may have changed your entire perception of the world. You can no longer wear those rose-colored glasses. Many of us feel shattered, as though our heart has broken into a mountain of pieces. Every horrific news report may feel personal.
Do not worry if you cry easily over trivial things. Sadly, you may have lost interest in things you used to take joy in. Are you easily irritated by others’ behaviors? Yes, that is perfectly normal. Please do not allow yourself to feel hopeless or insignificant.
Do not replay the fearful and frightening thoughts in your mind. Stop the ruminating before it gathers steam. You could end up feeling as though you are on overload and begin to feel numb. You might even protect yourself with what seems like apathy.
Trust me, sweet friends, you have more energy and effort than you think. You are not trapped, even though your life may seem unsatisfying or even frightening at this time. Do away with the negative perceptions that prevent problem-solving.
We all have emotional wounds due to the state of the world right now. Do you feel as though you are alive but not really living? You may be in survival mode. You have a right to be angry and even anxious. But not living your life is not only hurting you, it causes discomfort for those around you, as well.
The wound may feel tender, but please tend to your emotions, which are trying to communicate to you. If you replay horrific events over and over, you may have gone from helpful to harmful. Are you getting something out of thinking or talking about this? Don’t reopen the abrasion, please. Let it heal.
Continue to grow, my friends. Try not to be hyper-aware of all the negativity in the world. It will rob you of the life you deserve. Despite the ups and downs, you deserve to grow and to love. Indeed, we all fear the unknown.
Please make time to care for yourself. Buy those scented candles, drink soothing tea. Lie on the couch and read. Meditate or do anything to calm your mind. I self-care by staying hydrated. Coffee counts, right?
Above all, do not allow them to rob you of your peace of mind. Remember, sweet friends: The world is a better place with you in it.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
