In 1833, Lord Alfred Tennyson lost his closest friend, Arthur Henry Hallam, when the 22-year-old Hallam died suddenly. Hallam’s death shattered Tennyson’s world.
In a famous poem entitled In Memoriam A. H. H., Tennyson wrote:
“I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
As painful as the death of his closest friend was, Tennyson asserted that the anguish of the loss was worth the privilege of the companionship and love of his dear friend during the years he knew him.
As Chanukah came to its illuminating yet sad end a few days ago, I was thinking that Tennyson’s message is true regarding spiritual growth as well.
The Chanukah story has a most unhappily-ever-after conclusion. Historically, most of the wars against the Syrian-Greeks were fought after the miracle of the oil occurred. Yehudah Maccabee was killed during one of those wars.
When the wars finally ended and the Jews achieved independence, the descendants of the Maccabees proclaimed themselves kings. The Hasmonean monarchy was marked by internal strife and bloodshed. Even more shockingly, many of the Hasmonean kings held heretical beliefs, the very beliefs their ancestors had valiantly fought against.
Seasonally also, Chanukah is celebrated during the darkest days of the year. Most years, Chanukah is over before the winter solstice on December 21, when the days begin getting longer. Chanukah also overlaps Rosh Chodesh, when the moon is completely obscured. Just one week after Chanukah, we fast on the Tenth of Teves (Asarah B’Teves). The Tenth of Teves is the culmination of three days of darkness for various tragedies at different points in our painful history.
When Chanukah ends, it can seem that whatever was accomplished is quickly forgotten. Our comparatively little candles burned out, and darkness reigns again.
But that is not the truth. Observing Chanukah, like all holidays and mitzvos, is tantamount to planting seeds. The mud quickly covers them, and they seem lost and forgotten. But beneath the earth, the seeds are opening and beginning to form roots.
When the Mir Yeshivah evacuated to Shanghai during World War II, the students learned with incredible devotion, despite subpar conditions, including the weather often being uncomfortably hot. One year, Yom Kippur was a particularly sweltering day. The heat was so intense that the fasting students had to remove their jackets and daven in their shirts.
The exception was the venerated Mashgiach, Rabbi Chatzkel Levenstein. He stood all day poised like a soldier, wearing his jacket, tallis, and kittel. By the time he concluded Sh’moneh Esrei of one prayer, he had to immediately begin the next one. He stood in prayer the entire day.
He was still davening N’ilah well after the yeshivah concluded Maariv. The bachurim saw the intensity of the Mashgiach’s holy efforts and wanted to bring him some nachas. They decided to quickly break their fast and return immediately to the beis midrash so that when the Mashgiach would finish davening, he would see the beis midrash filled with everyone learning.
When the Mashgiach finished Sh’moneh Esrei and turned around, he was indeed pleasantly surprised to find the packed beis midrash with the intense sounds of Torah learning. In fact, it was related that although the Mashgiach didn’t often smile, when he saw the packed beis midrash that night, he smiled.
The Mashgiach summoned the bachurim around his shtender and shared the following:
“Our yeshivah has never had such a unique and special learning seder as this one. Right now, everyone is on a spiritual high. But we all know that such a high doesn’t last. At some point soon, we will not feel as inspired as we do now. Perhaps, then, some of you may wonder what you accomplished by working so hard to achieve.
“I want to share with you a parable that you should remember for the rest of your lives:
“A wealthy man commissioned a team of workers to construct an ornate and beautiful mansion for himself. When it was finally completed, the wealthy man invited his wealthy and influential friends to attend his housewarming party. At the party, the wealthy man was going to unveil a priceless painting, and that would mark the conclusion of the construction of his mansion.
“Unfortunately, as he neared the top of the ladder and began pulling off the cloth covering the painting, he lost his footing, tumbled off the ladder, and fell to the ground with a terrible thud. As everyone rushed to help him, the man began screaming at the top of his lungs, ‘Oh no! My house! My house! All my work, time, effort, and planning! All gone! Woe is me!’
“One of the people said to him, ‘It seems when you fell, you hit your head hard and became delusional. Your house is completely fine! You likely broke a few bones. But after you come home from the hospital, your completely intact house will be ready and waiting for you.’”
The Mashgiach continued, “Throughout Yom Kippur and tonight, every one of you has constructed a magnificent spiritual structure. You must remember that even though you may fall, what you have accomplished will not be tainted. You will need to pick yourself up and rise from your slip, but everything you worked so hard to accomplish will still be there.”
When Chanukah ends, we have to contend with the coldest and darkest nights of the year. Within a few days, it may seem that the holiday is all but forgotten. But beneath the darkness, the lights of Chanukah and the warmth of the Hallel we recited each day continue to warm and enlighten us within.
To paraphrase Lord Tennyson’s words:
“Better to have lit and lost…
Than never to have lit at all”
Rabbi Dani Staum is a popular speaker, columnist, and author. He is a rebbi in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, New Jersey, principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, New York, and a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. His writings can be found at strivinghigher.com. Looking for an inspirational speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum at 845-641-5094 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
