Do you know what motivates most of your behavior? Could it be that some of your actions and attitudes are ego-driven? Are you aware of when they emanate from your higher self? Are you even in touch with the essence of who you truly are?
Beyond our physical world, we ascribe meaning and a sense of purpose to what we do and how we choose to live, do we not? If you find yourself constantly seeking acceptance and acclamation from others, it could very well be your ego that you are feeding.
Your higher self will seek wisdom above all and lead with compassion and mercy. Which part of you do you feed more often? If you focus on status, wealth, and outer approval, chances are you may be neglecting your personal values or even your true aim in life. Then again, it’s been said: “Life is a lot like jazz. It’s best when you improvise.”
If you strive to meet your highest potential or to make a positive impact on the world, you most likely prioritize your personal growth. Worry less about how others perceive you, please. It’s been said: “Chill. No one knows what they’re doing either.” Another famous quote reminds us, “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” Learn to embrace your shortcomings instead of trying desperately to hide them.
Do defeatist or downbeat emotions have a strong impact on you? How often do you get angry or fearful? Feelings that promote joy and peace are aligned with your true self. Do not deny your feelings, but strive to recognize them. Yes, you get jealous; we all do. Do your “brain laundry” and separate your thoughts into light and dark.
Identify your emotions and learn to detach gently from them. Cultivate inner peace so that you can readily connect with your spiritual side.
Your friendships and love relationships can be growth-oriented. If they are, however, more about control or seeking attention and approval, they will not prioritize empathy or genuine compassion.
If you constantly focus on your own personal gain, you cannot even hear a higher calling or an inner voice leading you to a sense of purpose beyond yourself. How do you define fulfillment? Do you feel that it is attainable for you?
How often do you think about your inner development, sweet friends? Do not allow yourself to give up with every new setback in life. Perhaps you perceive the world around you as “all or nothing.” Where are the shades of gray?
Seeing things in black and white will cause you to feel separate from him. When you are with her, you may feel the need to protect yourself from what you perceive as a threat. But the world is always changing around you, and truly, we are all interconnected.
Allow for different viewpoints, please. Remain open and curious. It’s healthy to be sure of yourself and your skills without being prideful or patronizing. What image has your mind created about you? Try describing yourself.
“Saving up for retirement? Nah, I’m saving up for more Louis Vuitton.” Yes, I speak French: Saint Laurent, Louis Vuitton, Hermès, Chanel, Dior, Givenchy… Sheesh. Perhaps you know someone who is pretentious and prideful at times. He’s full of himself about his latest promotion at work and new BMW. She’s snobby and self-promoting on Instagram about her latest Louis Vuitton bag. Be confident, not arrogant. You know what they say: “If you’re the greatest, it’s okay to say you’re the greatest” (but maybe don’t say it every five minutes).
But truly, do find a friend you can be silly with. Remember that a sense of humor is your best friend. After all, someone once said: “The older I get, the better I used to be.”
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Woodmere. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
