One of the most exciting elements of Purim, for many children (and even adults), is the opportunity to dress up in costumes. It is a chance to dress up as your favorite iconic character, or unlock your creative juices and design something from scratch. When wearing a costume, or more specifically a mask, one can pretend to be different people and try on different character traits for the day. It’s fun, energizing and sometimes liberating. But sometimes, as in the story of Purim, the mask is used to conceal and hide what is underneath, and that sometimes people are not who they seem.
But what about the invisible masks that children wear daily in the halls of our schools and classrooms? What are they trying to conceal?
In our 18 years working closely with Jewish day school and observing students in schools across the country, our Hidden Sparks educational coaches have observed the many ways children try to disguise their struggles by donning a mask to hide what is really going on beneath the surface. These behaviors – masks that our children put on before heading into class – are a silent call for help, their way of coping. As educators, we need to look beneath the mask to figure out what they are trying to communicate.
A recent case in one of our participating schools involved a fourth-grade student named Emma (not her real name). Emma often acted out, addressing her fellow students and teachers with violent comments, drawing graphically disturbing images and intentionally shocking her classmates.
Such behavior is often dismissed as a sign that a student is “mentally unfit for a mainstream classroom” with teachers and administrators insisting that the child find a different framework or school to address their issues.
But the truth is that this child was not mentally ill. Far from it. Beneath her violent speech and “outrageous” behavior, our teacher discovered that this student was compensating for severe learning disabilities, including dyslexia and dysgraphia. Through work with one of our coaches, the school recognized that Emma was an extremely bright student who had been masking her academic struggles with disruptive behavior to compensate and divert attention from the real problem. Understanding the root cause of her actions helped the school shift its approach from counseling her out of the school to implementing strategies and support systems to help her succeed. Emma was able to remove the mask and thrive in school.
Johnny, another child we observed in a different school, is a third grader who regularly complained to his teacher that he was being picked on by his classmates. After taking the time to observe the child, our teacher was able to determine that the child had put on a ‘mask of victimhood’. ‘They are picking on me for no reason’ he would often say. The child wasn’t internalizing that his own actions were unintentionally drawing the ire of his fellow classmates. With our coach’s guidance, the teacher began creatively working with the child to build up his social cognition skills, allowing him to see how small changes in his own behavior can make a positive impact on his standing in the class. Once that victim mask was removed and he learned new skills, his behavior, as well as the behavior towards him, began to change.
“Behavior communicates and we have to figure out what they are trying to communicate,” explains Hollis Dannaham, a Hidden Sparks learning expert. “When children struggle and don’t have the language or feel safe enough to express it, they sometimes use behaviors to get rid of uncomfortable feelings or mask the difficulties they are experiencing,” adds Andrea Rousso, another learning expert.
Through observation and reflection on students in the classroom, identifying their strengths and their struggles, we can find and embrace the hidden spark within each child and create opportunities for each student to shine. When we find ways to meet the needs of diverse learners, to allow our students to take off their masks and be comfortable in their own skin, the entire class environment can change for the better.
Answering that call is not always easy, particularly for teachers standing in front of a full classroom of students, each with his or her individual needs, talents and sometimes learning obstacles. But once we recognize that a child is wearing a mask and in fact seeking help, teachers can shift their perspective and approach. The power of this shift is often exponential and helps us see the struggling students and ourselves through a different Lens.
The Purim story, full of hidden motives and hidden identities, reminds us to peel back the layers and remove the masks so that we can hear what struggling students are trying to say and help them succeed.
Debbie Niderberg serves as Executive Director of Hidden Sparks. Rabbi Elisha Hus serves as Director of School Services for Hidden Sparks. Hidden Sparks will be hosting their 18th annual Coaches Retreat on March 18th.
