News

This week’s topic, which is really not funny, is:

TEACHING YOUR CHILD TO DRIVE: A CRASH COURSE

I actually started talking about this last week, and last week’s tips boiled down to: Try to push off the actual driving for as long as possible.  For example, I pushed off all the actual driving tips to this week’s article.  But eventually, you have to buckle down and do it or else your editors will start losing their patience.  Or whatever.

To me, it’s strange to think that every Sefer Torah you will ever see has at some point been transported to shul via a whole massive Hachnosas Sefer Torah.  I’ve only been to like 3 in my life, but this has to be true. 

Congratulations! Your child has passed his or her driving permit test, despite your tefillos! He has never passed a written test in his life, but this one he passed just fine. You half expected the DMV to call you in for a conference after the test.

After 500 articles with this paper, I kind of feel like I need to get something off my chest:

I think that people have to come up with more original things to say to me when they meet me in public.  It’s basically been the same eight lines for the last decade.  I’m a little bit done with these.

One of the clearest things I’ve learned as an adult is this: No one cares if you’re tired. 

As I’m sure you’re aware, this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day (it falls on a Sunday this year) -- a day that people all over the country celebrate by giving mothers off from cooking and cleaning and so on.