Why Publish These Accusations?
Dear Editor:
As someone unfamiliar with both the accusations and the documentary, I was dismayed to read an article accusing a popular inspirational figure in the Jewish world of terrible things.
While the article may possibly be an appropriate response for someone who speaks to a rav about the issue, for someone like me, it only serves as pure lashon harah. Considering that the person passed away decades ago, I cannot understand the toeles in publishing these accusations and working to confirm them. The idea that the victims need a voice does not justify, according to my understanding of Halachah, airing such things publicly. Especially with this person, who serves as one of the only connections to Yiddishkeit for so many, the damage and chilul Hashem could be enormous, C”V. I am disappointed that the article was published in a publication that strives to maintain high ethical standards, and even more disappointed that it was on the front page. May the paper maintain higher standards in the future.
Yaakov Meltzer
Rabbi Oppenheimer Responds:
I appreciate Yaakov taking the time to write and understand the concern about lashon harah. However, I believe the letter misunderstands both the context and the purpose of my article.
I did not originate or publish the accusations against Shlomo Carlebach, nor did my article attempt to investigate or confirm them. I wrote in response to a newly released documentary that has placed these allegations squarely in the public arena and generated considerable discussion throughout the Jewish world. Moreover, as I noted in the article, the controversy surrounding Carlebach is not new. Reports and rumors concerning his conduct have circulated for many decades and were formally published years ago. Although this particular reader had apparently never encountered them, most others have long known that Carlebach was a controversial figure.
More importantly, the central purpose of my article was not to denigrate Rav Carlebach but, to a considerable extent, to be melamed z’chus on him. At a time when the negative aspects of his life are again being discussed, I felt it important to insist that the enormous good he accomplished not be forgotten. I wrote at length about his music, his Torah, his generosity, his extraordinary ahavas Yisrael, and his nearly unique ability to reach Jews whom almost nobody else could reach. The reader’s observation that Carlebach remains one of the only connections to Yiddishkeit for many people is not an argument against my article; it is one of its major themes.
As for the halachic question, I respect the reader’s concern, but it is not self-evident that any public discussion of troubling conduct constitutes prohibited lashon harah. The halachos concerning information already widely known and publicly disseminated, sometimes discussed in connection with apei telasa, are complex and certainly not a blanket permission. Similarly, the requirements of toeles must be taken seriously. I do not intend to issue a comprehensive halachic ruling in these pages. Nevertheless, discussing an established public controversy for a constructive purpose is very different from introducing private gossip into the public sphere.
I believe there was a genuine toeles in helping readers confront the controversy honestly and responsibly: Neither erasing the women who say they were harmed nor erasing the tremendous good Carlebach brought into the world. There is also value in considering how even noble motives in Jewish outreach can lead to danger when appropriate boundaries are crossed.
At this point, simply pretending that none of this is known is neither realistic nor fair to those who carry wounds from their encounters with him. At the same time, reducing Carlebach to the worst accusations against him would be equally dishonest. My article sought to avoid both extremes.
I therefore commend the Queens Jewish Link for having the courage to publish a sensitive article on a difficult and controversial subject. Important issues already being discussed throughout the Jewish community should be addressed thoughtfully, responsibly, and respectfully in the public square. That was what I attempted to do.
Thank you again to Yaakov for writing and for giving me the opportunity to clarify my purpose.
Rabbi Yehuda L. Oppenheimer
The Two Questions
Dear Editor:
According to my algorithm (I don’t even know what the word means, but I’m trying to sound well-educated), there are two questions that most people ask: “How are you?” and “How much does it cost?” The first question is best answered in two or three words without going into lengthy medical jargon. The second question is a little more complex, often necessitating smelling salts.
The other day, I needed a bookcase carted away, and I used one of the nationally advertised companies that says, “Just point and it disappears.” The item disappeared, as well as my checking account. I don’t want to get into trouble with them since the two men they sent over were very nice and accommodating. I was able to get the price down a little bit, but the only tip they got was a glass of water.
Are you the person who always asks how much something costs? If so, please ask yourself why you do that. Are you really going to Iceland, or are you really going to some five-star hotel for Yom Tov? Is your curiosity a money fixation or a result of jealousy? Do yourself a favor and tell the person that you are happy for him or her and that you hope they enjoy their Yom Tov with their families. Save the questions for Pesach.
Debbie Horowitz
I Found My Peace in the Land of the Living
Dear Editor:
I found my peace in the Land of the Living,
walking among white marble
and stones arranged in silence and with care.
The silence embraced me,
and my lips moved without cease,
as though whispering a prayer with no end.
Green fields surrounded us on every side,
and serenity became my inheritance.
I sat beneath the cedar tree,
closed my eyes,
and, as if emerging from a prophetic dream,
the names of the people began to blossom before me.
Like butterflies of spring, they drifted around me,
name after name,
soul after soul,
singing in quiet joy
the symphony of death
and shedding a tear.
Could it be that they were singing of their own deaths?
Or perhaps they wished to tell me something?
To warn me?
To remind me?
And in sacred awe, I rose to my feet,
straining to hear a voice
breaking through the silence.
I rested my head upon your grave,
closed my eyes once more,
and from within the silence of the stone,
your soul whispered,
a gentle whisper
that became a cry:
“My children,
Unity.
It is your life.
It is your strength.
It is what will save you from death.
For if you do not stand as one,
if you once again allow hatred to divide you,
the Land of the Living
may once again become
the land of the dead.”
Amitai anaki
The Heartbeat of Taglit ??
Dear Editor:
It’s been a while since I made it to the Middle East,
The itch I felt for traveling to Israel never ceased ??
A decade & some change was getting way too much to bear ?
Something had to give if I was gonna do self-care ?♂️
My wallet wouldn’t let me go if not for the right price $
And so I booked with Birthright without thinking once or twice ?
I packed my bags and said “later” to my children and wife ????
And got to Tel Aviv and said “Shalom!” to simple life ?
We pulled into Ben Gurion 1 morning in late July ☀️
Taking in the sight of Tel Aviv felt so alive!
We met Ohad and Yael, who gave us their little shpiel,
And then we hit the ground running, yashar, to volunteer ➡️
We started in the north, where we hit all the right hot spots ⬆️
Kesaria, Melavlev, Zichron Yaakov was a lot ?
We settled in Teverya, where some went for a dip ?♂️
While I visited Maimonides the first night of the trip ?
It came time for all of us to get to Israel’s heart ?
Yerushalayim, Ir Hakodesh, from the very start.
Walking the Yehudas thanks to Machane and Ben,
Past the souvenir shops with my old and newfound friends ?️
Then came time to go down south & hit reality ⬇️
Of what happened that awful day of 10/7/23 ?
The terrorist attacks committed in Sderot and Nova ?
Were not simply carried out by bad humans, but more by a...
Horrible and evil group who’ve wanted nothing more ?
Than to take over our homes, lives, families and stores!!...
Silence the root essence of what keeps us loud and strong! ?
Destroying our neshamot ‘til we feel we don’t belong ??
And then there are those unfortunates fooled by others’ views ?
Hearing people spread the lies that cause this hateful news ?
Most of whom never entered the land that they insult
And see for themselves how much they’ve fallen into a cult ?
I’d venture to say that if they did, then they would see ?
So many beautiful people, good deeds, farms, flowers, and trees ?
They’d also see how close to Gaza Israel really is,
How obvious the threat is that it doesn’t take a wiz ?
Israel is so vibrant because where their investments stem,
Not putting efforts into killing those who aren’t them.
How vibrant and thriving Eretz Yisrael really is...
Anybody on the fence is welcome to come in...
Listening to Kalev made an imprint on our brains ?
Pruning pomegranate trees almost caused permanent stains.
Then it came time to unwind upon entering Sabbath day,
Eating a beautiful dinner and breaking ice to play ▶️
Praying that we don’t forget the reason why we came,
To maintain and sustain meaningful friendships ‘long the way ?
For those of us who left early, we felt the void at heart
We wish you didn’t go, but you should know you did your part ?
This would not have happened if it weren’t for Taglit,
Who always seemed to have our backs and never miss a beat ?
Thank you to the donors who help fund all these great trips ?
And let us go to the Kotel and kiss it with our lips ?
It’s not “Shalom” to each of you who spent a week with me ✌️
It’s also not a rainy day away from pruning trees.
It is, however, sunny new beginnings spent together ?
It’s memories that we will have until I see you later ?
Until next time ?
Ariel Dori
