What are you passionate about? Do you even know? What does your inner monologue sound like these days? Sometimes we are confused about the deeper meaning of our lives, or we simply get stuck in some emotionally draining job with no end in sight. Listen, I hate losing things at work like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams. Tell me: What is your dream job. In your dreams, you don’t work? Oh.

If you are not living the life you love, become aware of what you value and what you actually take joy in. Once you figure that out, bring more of that into your life. If you cannot effect change in a certain area, please work on changing your perspective.

Admit it. You do not take care of your mental wellbeing, do you? Exercising your body is one thing. Sure, you’re keeping your squats low and your standards high. At the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. People gave me weird looks, so I started jogging instead. My trainer said “curls” might help. So I got a perm.

But truly, do you know what path you wish to take right now? Perhaps you need to ask yourself some hardcore questions. Reclaim your life, sweet friends. You may have to take a leap of faith. Please set aside some time to do what nourishes you. Speaking of nutrition, you know what they say: Don’t fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose ten pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning. Listen, My gym costs $120 for an entire year. That’s $60 per visit – not a great deal.

But honestly, whether we know it or not, we thrive on human connections. Are you nurturing your relationships regularly? How? The bonus is that doing for others actually makes you feel better about yourself. Win-win.

Be kind. Life has a way of reciprocating emotional generosity. Please stop limiting yourself with a sad story you may be telling yourself. You are in fact quite capable and, yes, you deserve happiness. Find out what makes you individual and unique, and share those gifts with the world. You have been given them to inspire humanity.

Observe some recurring patterns in your life. What type of friends are you drawn to? Do they tend to bring you more difficulty or delight? Do not allow yourself to get caught up with expectations of others. Focus on the last time he made you smile. Remember how she set aside time for you when you simply felt “not good enough.” How you choose to spend your time and whom you spend it with makes up the seasonings and spice of your life. It’s been said: Life is kind of like a tin of sardines. We’re all of us looking for the key.

Keep feeding your heart. Know what your core values are at all times and do not compromise them, please. Our path in this life is never linear. Expect those potholes and bumps in the road along the way. No matter where you find yourself, you can always turn your life around.

You’re not going to slip and simply trip over happiness. Ask yourself if there is a vision or view of a life you would rather be living. What are the steps you need to take to get there? Take one step at a time. Now, keep going.

You do not have to live a life of mediocrity or insignificance. Success and fulfillment will not come and find you. Sometimes you must take that leap, and risk having to bear some discomfort along the way. Don’t spend your entire life trying not to face your fears.

Value yourself and invest in people who treasure your sharing and caring. You need not feel as though you are in some unspoken competition with others. Want to lighten your spirit? Visualize your soul being enveloped in light and love. Yes, we all love those new-age expressions. Like: Wherever you go, there you are. (Your luggage is another matter.) Into visualization? See that “No Parking” sign? Now visualize yourself getting towed.

But seriously, establish some routines that will make your home life easier. Make sure your house feels like a home. I know, when you want your house to look clean, you just take off your glasses. Y’all know that Alexa is not doing the dishes. So, tidy up, please.

Make some changes. Turn off auto-pilot and try to live more intentionally, sweet friends. Then again, sometimes we need to learn to love the life we are already living. You know what they say: Love is like an illness; it may hit you when you don’t expect it. You don’t like the beginning? Start over to make a new ending.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.