Last week, my article opened with relating a text I received from a good friend who pointed to the fact that I was an early supporter of Donald Trump before it was fashionable to do so. I took that as a license to deservedly gloat over his victory. Yet, I made every effort to limit my gloating, as implied by the title itself, “The Gloat Goat.”
But that did not stop a different friend from texting me that he was “amused that you opened by saying you weren’t going to gloat and then spent three quarters of the article doing just that.” The sender is the exact opposite of me politically, but we do have a mutually respectful relationship. The text indeed was followed with a half smiley emoji. I responded humorously that he’s right, but I only gloated 75% and not 100%.
I began to think that as much as I am convinced that I’m right in my politics (and of course I am, as time and experience have proven), those opposite me are equally convinced of their own way of thinking. I was sure that I was clearly not gloating, despite my being generally very happy with the election results. In fact, I was ecstatic about the magnitude of the victory. Yet I thought I was quite tempered. But my friend was equally convinced otherwise.
Now we are learning of Mr. Trump’s picks for Secretary of State, Marco Rubio; US Ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee; Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth; and US Ambassador to the UN, Elise Stefanik – all ardent supporters of Israel. Even those who hate Donald Trump should silently be exulting. If the Jewish community had a wish list of candidates for these positions, these names would be on top. Compare them to the totally unreliable and sometimes treacherous people in the Biden/Harris administration. The best we could get out of them was, “Israel has a right to defend itself…But...”
The other day, I caught part of a report on radio that liberal Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor does not want to step down, despite being 70 years old. My immediate thoughts were that she should allow the Republicans to do what they need to do and get out of their way. What arrogance of her to be so stubborn.
As the report went on, the full story was that the Democrats wanted her to step down so they can replace her with one of their own candidates before Biden leaves office. Suddenly my thoughts changed. What nerve of the Democrats to meddle! She better not step down.
I immediately caught myself seeing things from opposite perspectives, all depending on the political calculation.
Later in the week, I had a truly “live and learn” experience. Someone sent me a clip of a special needs young man delivering an impassioned and eloquent speech before an audience about the horrors of screening for genetic abnormalities in an unborn fetus, with the intention to abort that pregnancy. He explained that he would not be alive today had he been aborted. He also demonstrated the facts on how valuable to humanity such people are.
I was debating whether to forward this clip to a good friend of mine who has a special needs child. I was not sure if he would find encouragement in seeing the young man so cogently expressing himself. Or might he take offense to my thinking of his child other than as a high-functioning human being. I decided to send it to him. It was the wrong choice.
By his lack of enthusiastic response, it was easy for me to tell that my friend was not happy to receive that clip. When, after a few days, I called my friend, he told me he thought it was in a way condescending of me to send that clip. He later sent me some very impressive computer-related accomplishments of his child. He did not see the need for me to try to show him that such children can be high achievers as well.
I thought for a moment, and then I told him that, in truth, I experience the same. I have a certain health condition which is, baruch Hashem, under control. But every so often, a well-intentioned person will send me a news item that focuses on the ability of people with my condition to function normal lives.
To one, a relative, I responded: Nice to know I can be normal. Did you consider me a freak?
I related this exchange to someone I am very close with and asked him his thoughts. He gave it thought and said that he fully gets it. He, too, has a child with a chronic health condition that is also under control, baruch Hashem. He said that he resents when people send him articles to show how such people can lead very productive lives. His child in many ways is an overachiever and is not comforted by those who think that the child is anything but 100% normal.
The lesson to be learned is quite clear: While we have every right to maintain and fight for our own religious, political, and social positions, we must also consider the other points of view. Not everyone has the same perspective. It is well worth keeping that in mind, as we make our decision on how to interchange. That does not mean that we have to consider the other side right as well. But it does mean that it just may be that the other side sees things in a totally different perspective to your own. Think it through before acting. Don’t be prejudiced.
Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld is the Rabbi Emeritus of the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills, President of the Coalition for Jewish Values, former President of the Vaad Harabonim of Queens, and the Rabbinic Consultant for the Queens Jewish Link.
