In Parshas Ki Sisa, Moshe Rabbeinu comes down from Har Sinai, after spending the last 40 days and nights dwelling in the presence of Hashem, holding the Luchos – only to be confronted by the sight of the people, who were waiting below, that they constructed a Golden Calf. As it states, “It happened as he drew near the camp, and he saw the calf and the dancers, that Moses’ anger burned. And he threw down the tablets from his hand, and he shattered them at the bottom of the mountain. He took the calf that they had made, and he burned it in fire. He ground it into a fine powder and strewed it in the water. And he made the Children of Israel drink from it” (Sh’mos 32:19).
The Rambam teaches us in his sefer Mishneh Torah that anger is an extremely bad attribute, and one should distance himself from it by going to the other extreme. One should train himself not to get angry, even about something to which anger might be the appropriate response. “The early Sages said, ‘Whoever gets angry is as if he has performed idolatry. They further said that one who angers, if he is a scholar, his wisdom will depart from him; and if he is a prophet, his prophetic spirit will depart from him.” [The Sages further stated,] “People who have tempers – their lives are not lives.” Therefore, they have instructed us to keep far from anger, training ourselves to stay calm even in the face of provocation. And this is the ideal path” (Hilchos Dei’os 2:3).
However, the Rambam points out that there is a time when it is befitting to show signs of anger. He states: “If one wants to instill reverence in his children and family, or in public if he is head of the community, and his desire is to show them his anger so as to bring them back to the good, he should appear to be angry with them, so as to reprove them, but he must inwardly remain calm as if he were acting the part of an angry man, but in reality he is not angry at all.” (Hilchos Dei’os ibid).
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explains that Moshe Rabbeinu was not criticized for being angry, because Moshe Rabbeinu understood – when he threw the Luchos in a display of enormous anger – that his people needed a shock to help them change their lives.
In T’hilim, David HaMelech declares: “Desist from anger and forsake wrath” (37:8). The Maharal explains that anger is indicative of a lack of faith. When we are frustrated, we overact in anger because we feel that our sense of control has been compromised. No one is listening to us; nothing is getting done. When one has complete faith in Hashem, he is always happy and at peace with his situation. He feels secure that Hashem is controlling everything, and he is not scared by overwhelming situations. If things don’t go his way, he remembers that it is ultimately Hashem’s doing and Hashem’s decision.
The Maharal offers us suggestions to help us deal with pain, anger, and challenging situations: Keep the faith, have emunah. Take time to think about a kindness that Hashem has done for you in the past. Try to remember a specific situation where Hashem helped you succeed, and that everything worked out well. By focusing on Hashem’s past chesed, it gives us faith and reassurance that Hashem will continue to help us through our current and future difficulties. While we can’t control all events in our lives and how other people act, treat us, or what they say, having bitachon can help us control our attitude.
List of People Who Need a r’fuah sh’leimah (a complete recovery)
Please recite Psalms 20, 30, 88, 121, and 130.
Yaakov Chaim HaLevi ben Chanom
Menachem ben Adele
Chaim Avraham ben Shifrah Zisel
Zalik Zalmonchai ben Irna Imashalom
Moshe David ben Yente Gittel
Tinok ben Orly
Shmaryahu ben Raizel Shoshanah Miriam
Yisrael ben Raizel Shoshanah Miriam
Shimon ben Chana Rivka
Shmuel ben Malkah
Levi Refael ben Olga
Mindel bas Leah
Chayah Neli Nikdam bas Mazal
Odelia bas Mahboobeh Yocheved
Esther Hadassah bas Devorah
Mitali Naomi bas Gilah Farcha
Chanah Brachah bas Tziporah Chayah
Dinah bas Chanah
Tziporah bas Fruma
Malka Frieda bas Rahel
Lilya Leah bas Mira Mihal
Yael Shoshanah Chayah bas Chanah Fraydel
Israeli Soldiers (Please recite Psalms 25, 26, 46, 83, 142.)
Ben Zion Yitzchak ben Ilanah Malkah
Aharon Simchah ben Meirah Ilanah
David ben Rivkah Zlata
Matnia ben Sarah
Yehudah Chaim ben Mina Chayah
Yehudah ben Baila
Shai ben Baila
Ro’i ben Baila
Asaf ben Tamar
Avitar ben Tamar
Elad ben Tamar
Amit Levy ben Dalit
Menachem ben Aliza Esther
Yehoshua ben Aliza Esther
Binyamin ben Chanah
Yoel Tzvi ben Adinah Shoshanah
Moshe Avraham ben Malkah Rivkah
Yosef Rachamim ben Sarah
Binyamin Moshe ben Sarah
Yosef Elyasaf ben Devorah
Menachem Shlomo ben Miriam Tamara
Omer ben Sigal
Moshe David ben Chavah Leah
Shmuel Yonah ben Leah
Yehoshua Hershel ben Chanah
Alexander Gedalia ben Chayah Basyah
Ezra Yisrael ben Chayah Basyah
To add names of individuals who need a r’fuah sh’leimah to next week’s T’hilim column, please email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and complete the Google form.
