It’s been said that more people become religious because of the Rebbetzin’s kugel than because of the Rabbi’s sermon.
This past Friday, I couldn’t stop thinking about my wife’s kugel all morning. While she does make a mean potato kugel (that’s a big compliment for those who don’t know), that’s not why I thought about it all morning.
During a game played at last year’s Chanukah mesibah in my home for my students, one student won a Rebbetzin’s potato kugel. For various reasons we couldn’t pay up our kugel debt before the end of last year. Last week, my wife sent a hot kugel for the lucky student. Along with it, she sent another kugel for my current students.
I carried the kugels into the yeshivah building in a box. When I put the box on my desk, I noticed that my suit pants were very wet; “kugel juice” had spilled all over my pants. I tried cleaning it off, but the stain was noticeable. Worse than that, the unmistakable smell of kugel was embedded in my pants.
I once had the idea to market a cologne that smells like hot cholent and kugel. Imagine! You spray some of the kugel/cholent cologne on yourself on Shabbos morning, and everyone wants to be near you. It has the added benefit that if you wake up grumpy on Sunday morning, you can then spray some of the cologne on yourself and everyone will stay away from you.
But this was not the way I had planned to market the cologne.
Each Yom Tov of the year has not only its unique avodah, halachos, and mitzvos, but also unique customs, smells, and foods. Although the special foods are certainly not our main focus, they do add a personal and meaningful component to our holiday observance.
Rav Shimshon Pincus (Nefesh Shimshon – Shabbos) relates the following story from Rav Simcha Wasserman, the founder and Rosh Yeshivah of Yeshiva Ohr Elchanan in Los Angeles.
There was a family in Los Angeles that had become religious a few years prior, whose son was becoming bar mitzvah. The family had many friends, and they decided to make the bar mitzvah in a hotel. Because the hotel was a bit of a distance from where they lived, the family requested that anyone who could not come for the entire Shabbos should join the reception they would be hosting during the week. In that way, they hoped no one would drive to the hotel on Shabbos.
Rav Simcha and his Rebbetzin were invited but were unable to attend. On Friday morning, Rav Simcha called the mother to wish her mazal tov and apologize that he could not be there in person. He then asked the mother if she was serving cholent on Shabbos. The mother replied that none of the relatives knew what cholent was and wouldn’t miss it. In addition, to avoid any halachic challenges, they decided to only serve cold food, including the meat and side dishes.
Rav Simcha asked the mother to please serve cholent. The mother was surprised but she assured the Rav that she would do so. She called the caterer and arranged that they bring a crock pot full of cholent before Shabbos.
The following day, a car pulled up to the hotel. A couple got out of the car and walked into the hotel. As soon as they stepped inside, however, the woman turned to her husband and said, “I cannot stay here! We must leave immediately!” Before the bar mitzvah boy’s parents could even greet them, they were back in their car.
On Motza’ei Shabbos, the parents called the couple to find out what had happened. The woman explained that she was a Holocaust survivor. The Nazis had taken her from her home when she was six years old. She survived and came to America where she rebuilt her life. But she could not remember anything from her previous life. She couldn’t remember her parents and she couldn’t remember her home or what Shabbos observance was like. Her mental block caused her untold anguish. She went to numerous psychologists and psychiatrists, but no one was successful in helping her jog her suppressed memories.
That morning, when she stepped into the hotel and smelled the distinctive aroma of the cholent, her childhood memories came flooding back. At that moment, she remembered that she had been taken from her home on Shabbos morning when the smell of cholent filled the house. The smell had triggered her memory. She suddenly remembered her father saying Kiddush, her mother’s face, what she was wearing when she was taken, and even the doll her sister had taken from her just before. The flux of memories was overwhelming, and she had to leave.
Rav Pincus concludes that he heard that the couple returned to a life of Torah; and a few years later, their daughter married a yeshivah bachur.[1]
Studies of brain scans demonstrate that smells can trigger strong memories. The brain processes smell using the same areas it would use to process emotions and memories.
The smells, tastes, and customs of each Yom Tov help mentally and physically prepare us for those mitzvos and halachos. Beyond that, they help embed those practices in the deepest recesses of our minds, in a sense, deeper than the intellectual components of the day.
With Yom Tov season upon us, we have an added appreciation for the age-old customary symbolic foods of each Yom Tov.
While kugel juice on pants is never pleasant, the smell of fresh kugel and cholent can help foster a greater love and connection to the true sweetness of Shabbos kodesh.
Still, it’s always better to enjoy it with a plate.
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker, columnist, and author. He is a rebbe at Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ. and principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, NY. Rabbi Staum is also a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and at www.strivinghigher.com.
[1] - Rav Pincus adds that, in his opinion, this story does not symbolize the true “smell of Shabbos.” Rather, the smell of Shabbos is shalom bayis – peace and tranquility in the home. When there is love and respect in a home, there is an air of pleasantness and calm that resonates in the home. That is the true “smell of Shabbos.”