Standing outside, as I approached the events hall in the Ahavat Tzion shul in Ramat Beit Shemesh this past Motza’ei Shabbos, I felt myself being pulled in by the women’s soulful singing. An evening of achdus had been arranged for the many English-speaking shuls of Ramat Beit Shemesh to unite us and strengthen us during this seemingly unending difficult time. With musical accompaniment, Abby Yudin, the wife of a reservist currently serving in the war, set the tone for the evening with her expressive and stirring voice. The hall could barely contain the steady stream of women who continued to enter the venue.
The first speaker was Tehilla Friedman, founder of Nava, a non-profit organization she established in 2002 to support and assist families that experienced terror and tragedies. In addition to helping families pay for therapy, lost income, and special devices for the wounded, every year Nava organizes a communal Seder for bereaved families at a hotel. The Seder is not meant for needy families, but rather to unite broken hearts at a time when sitting across from an empty chair is an excruciating experience.
At the first Seder arranged by Navah, HaRav Elisha Vishlitski, who taught at Yeshivat Mercaz HaRav, addressed the families. He told them he would try to give them nechamah (comfort) by giving them a perspective on their tragedies.
Rav Vishlitski quoted the Gemara that states that Rabbi Akiva wanted to give his wife, Rachel, a necklace of Yerushalayim, even though they lived under poor conditions. One day, a man came to their home. Unbeknownst to them, it was Eliyahu HaNavi. The man told them that his wife had just given birth and he needed some straw. Rabbi Akiva told his wife that even though they live under poor conditions, they still have straw that they can share with others. Rachel answered Rabbi Akiva that he should go learn.
Rav Vishlitski explained this odd conversation: Rachel married Rabbi Akiva because she saw his potential, but this was the first time she saw how he viewed himself. He didn’t see the straw on the floor and water dripping in their home. His vision was to buy her jewelry. He didn’t see the here and now. He saw netzach (eternity). Rachel sent him to learn so that he could be with netzach. Rav Vishlitski encouraged the families not to look at their current bad situations, but to build a vision and be part of Am HaNetzach, the eternal nation.
We can all do the same. We cry when we hear the terrible news cleared for publication. But we must keep our eyes on netzach, which comes from the same root as nitzachon (victory).
Dina Guedalia spoke about her son, Sgt. First Class Yosef Malachi Guedalia of the Duvdevan commando unit, who was killed on Simchas Torah at the age of 22. Yosef, who was married right before Yom Kippur the year before the massacre, was a gentle soul. At the conclusion of his mandatory service, he was asked to take charge of a failing unit. Yosef responded that he would do whatever the army needed him to do.
Yosef’s unit worked with drones. He once traveled to the United States to see how they use drones. He noticed a photo of himself in the PowerPoint presentation that he was shown. He didn’t talk about the great work he did. He was very modest.
The extended Guedalia family celebrated Simchas Torah in Yerushalayim as they usually do. Many family members came, and they had a private minyan. When Dina was walking with her husband very early on Simchas Torah morning, she didn’t understand why she heard rumbling in the sky. Then slowly, one by one, the three Guedalia sons left to go fight. Dina believed that it was Shemini Atzeres and all would be good. Their oldest son, Asher, called on Motza’ei Yom Tov. He was heartbroken because his officer and several friends had been killed.
The Guedalias didn’t hear from Yosef, but they were not worried. Their daughters-in-law moved into the Guedalia home along with their children. Asher continued to try to get information about Yosef, but he received vague answers to his questions, the kind he would give to other families who were trying to ascertain the whereabouts of their family members, not yet knowing that they had already been killed.
Eventually, Asher put the pieces together. He insisted on accompanying the officers to tell his parents the tragic news. Dina’s husband had already heard the news when Dina went outside to wish him a happy anniversary. Once outside, she saw that her older son had come home. The look of agony on his face said it all.
The Guedalias found out later what had happened to Yosef on that fateful day. He first headed to his base in Maalei Adumim. He joined with three other soldiers, and they headed to Kfar Azza, where they found that soldiers in the Duvdevan unit had already been killed. Yosef went in and out of Kfar Azza, fighting and rescuing the wounded. His vehicle was hit by an RPG (rocket-propelled grenade) from close range. Yosef and his friend tried to get out from the back, but terrorists threw grenades at them.
As Yosef was one of the first soldiers to fall in this war, there was a lot of space surrounding his grave at the time of his levayah. By the time the family returned for shloshim, tragically, there were many more graves. Dina stated, “Kulam k’doshim. They are all holy.”
Dina has been in touch with Iris Chaim, the mother of Yotam Chaim, one of the hostages accidentally killed by Israeli fire. Iris is not religious, but all the walls between them have fallen. They have an eternal bond as Iris’s son was from Kfar Azza, and Yosef was killed defending that same place.
Yosef was sweet and kind. His family wondered how he would fare in the Duvdevan Unit. But he succeeded. While Yosef was gentle, he was a warrior. There was something magical about him. Yosef’s commanders stated that they would tell other soldiers to be like Yosef. His fellow soldiers said that in Yosef’s presence, they were motivated to be better people. If soldiers would talk in a way that Yosef found inappropriate, he would say, “Excuse me. But such talk will not bring the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash.” Then soldiers who had never heard of the Beis HaMikdash would Google it to see what it was.
For years, Yosef’s family has had the tradition of walking from Beit Shemesh to Yerushalayim on Chol HaMoed to fulfill the mitzvah of Aliyah L’Regel. They plan to do so this year, as well. In his final conversation with Yosef, Yosef’s brother said they talked about how they could bring the G’ulah closer.
As a child, Yosef was mesmerized by sifrei Torah. It is fitting that he went up to Shamayim on Simchas Torah. Yosef didn’t just see the potential of good in each situation. He saw everything as already good. His light continues to shine through.
Lindi Peretz, aunt of hostage Daniel Shimon ben Sharon, talked about her 22-year-old nephew who fought and was kidnapped along with three of his fellow soldiers on the first day of the war. Some time ago, Daniel had a sports injury. After he recovered, he fought with the army to raise his profile so he could be a combat soldier. He wanted desperately to fight for Eretz Yisrael. He won that battle and joined the tank unit. Auntie Lindi played a recorded message that Daniel sent his mother, thanking her for hosting him on Shabbos. He expressed appreciation for all her hard work. Aunt Lindi encouraged everyone to do acts of chesed for the sake of Daniel’s return and to post them on Instagram. These acts of chesed give the family a lot of chizuk.
Jen Airley, mother of Binyamin Airley Hy”d, and Linda Derovan, mother and grandmother of soldiers fighting in the war, led the women in T’hilim. A rebbetzin from Ramat Beit Shemesh explained the p’rakim that we recited.
The evening ended with more singing. This time women swayed arm in arm with a new closeness. The slow singing was followed by uplifting dancing.
In her speech, Tehilla Friedman mentioned that Haman knew it was the right time to start up with the Jews because we were an “Am m’furad u’m’fuzar.” We were split and scattered. Esther understood that the antidote to this problem was “Lech, k’nos es kol haYehudim.” To be worthy of Hashem’s help, she needed to bring the Jews together. We need that same unity now. We are part of a big story, and we need to come together as we write these pages of history. “Nitzchiyus konim b’achdus.” We acquire eternity through achdus. B’ezras Hashem, this Evening of Achdus will be a step in the right direction.
Please continue to daven for the recovery of the sick, the release of the rest of the hostages, and the safe return of all the chayalim and security forces.
Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.
