Are you good at friendship? What sort of character do you wish to find in a friend? Does she know how to show vulnerability or weakness? Does he trust you enough to confess some failures? Is she interested in your challenges and troubles, too?
Please do not choose a confidante who is judgmental, but someone who knows you are as imperfect as she is. You may underestimate your own ability to cope at times, but he knows how to get you to laugh at yourself. Remember what the Cookie Monster said: “Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.” Y’all know that broken cookies have no calories, right? Heck, I could totally go for a cookie right now, but I won’t because the kids are home and that means I’d have to share.
But seriously, if you get defensive, your true friend will help you build your self-understanding. He may even help you choose your goals. She will listen, help you think, and ask you to develop your thoughts. Most importantly, he will actually help you to like yourself. Furthermore, he may like you in a way you may not even be able to like yourself.
Unfortunately, we tend to be unfriendly toward ourselves. Yes, we humans remain profoundly helpless. So much is unclear. We may feel at the mercy of the world and have no way of making sense of many things. Do not stay sad and lonely, sweet friends.
This is not the end of everything good and true. When you see the familiar face of your best friend, or hear him say your favorite nickname, some of the demons are sent packing. Do allow your friends to soothe you. But remember that you must nurture yourself, as well. You will get through this. What is a meaning of a true friend? One who remembers your birthday but not your age.
At times of crisis, find a calming voice within yourself. You can endure and you will. Be attentive to what is missing in your life. Life need not be harder than it is already. Your days and nights should not be rocked with mental torment and malaise.
Seek out a companion who can console and comfort you. Unburden yourself. Please ask for what you need. Don’t make things scarier in your mind than they already are in reality. You deserve kindness, tender-heartedness, and, most of all, serenity.
When someone asks you how you are, what do you say? “Fine, thank you?” Find someone with whom you can express what is really going on beneath the surface. It may help you release those dark emotions. It’s okay to say: “I’m not fine.”
Don’t tell yourself that you are fine when you are not. Do not ignore negative or conflicting feelings. Instead of self-denial, feel those feelings as they happen. Your emotions are valid, my friends.
Please do not withdraw or isolate. It’s all right to take a breather, but do not escape or sleep for far too many unhealthy hours. Are you having difficulty sleeping at all?
When you just want to sleep, but your head is installing 95 updates and won’t let you skip them: I know the feeling.
We are all dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress. You may feel tired, foggy, have trouble concentrating, or feel a knot in your stomach. You could very well have even felt brain fog these past few weeks.
Anxiety and uneasiness have a way of finding you when you least expect it. Do not take quick, rapid breaths. Pay attention to your breathing during the day. Breathe in slowly, and exhale in your own good time.
You may be eating too much or way too little. That pint of ice cream may comfort us every now and then. By the way, you can pour melted ice cream on regular ice cream. It’s like a sauce. Sundae is my favorite day of the week.
But truly, make yourself a healthy dish and breathe deeply as you prepare dinner for your family. Don’t feel much like socializing? It’s all right. You can also recharge your battery for a bit when you are by yourself.
A good book, inspirational movie, or a cup of soothing tea is a good place to start. Do get together with your family and friends. Call your mom. Text a friend. If you do not, your mental health will pay the price. Most of all, add some life to your life, sweet friends.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
