Oish, here comes that routine again. The same ole same ole. Daily chores, responsibilities, and expectations. We humans have been dealing with this since the dawn of civilization. We have felt disgruntled, dissatisfied, and disappointed – convinced that life is somehow supposed to be better than it is right now. Believe it or not, the secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.

So what are you convinced will make you happier? Being richer, thinner, having a truckload of more friends? Speaking of wealth… Rich people splurging are like: “Gee, I think I’ll get a yacht.” Me splurging is: “Oh, I think I’ll order the appetizer.” Lol. And let’s be real: You are truly rich when your loved ones run into your arms – even when your hands are empty.

First and foremost, take a deep breath and fully accept your life just as it is now. Sure, you may have hitched a ride on the hot mess express, but the most important question you will ever ask is: “What can I learn from this?” Don’t you fret, sweet friends: Before coffee, I’m a hot mess; after coffee, I’m a wide-awake hot mess. Heh.

One surefire way to fall more in love with your life is to start receiving. That’s right; you heard me. Accept those compliments without pooh-poohing them. Welcome help from loving friends and neighbors. If you truly love yourself, you can take in love from others, too, no matter what shape or form it may take. Make sure to tell them just how much you appreciate them and their kindness.

Then again, try serving others. You’d be surprised how quickly you stop thinking about yourself and your issues when you start thinking of others. Listen, and then listen some more. Give of yourself, but do not sacrifice or compromise yourself in any way, please. Do not become a professional victim or martyr. P.S. Forgive others as quickly as you expect G-d to forgive you.

When was the last time you took self-improvement seriously? What are you working on internally? Ah, perhaps it’s time to remind yourself of your spiritual and emotional goals. Don’t know what they are or should be? Maybe you are still focusing on the past and wrongs that were done to you. It may be time to let go of those grudges and welcome inner peace back into your being. Still ruminating over the path you think you should have taken? Let go of the mistakes you have made, sweet friends. Think of it this way: You get to free up the part of your brain that lives in regret and anxiety. Make room for forgiveness and appreciation instead.

Notice how with some people you’re so relaxed, charming, or even funny, and with others you can hardly think of a thing to say? You know that friend who never gets tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again? Thank you. Or the one who looks at the scale with you and suggests that maybe you should take your socks off and try again? Find friends who help you be the best possible version of yourself.

Dress in your own unique way, so long as it makes you feel more confident. No need to check what’s trending now. Your clothing or outfit certainly do not reveal who you are; but guess what? They can certainly affect the way you feel.

Get those endorphins going. What’s your pleasure? Bring yourself back to the beauty and simplicity of life by simply walking through a park or garden. Then again, weathermen only forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course. Heh.

Try not to resist change too much. I know. But we can literally spend our lives wishing things were the way they used to be. Surely we can find some positives about the way life is in the here and now. Try prayer. Speaking of which… I thought I saw a family praying at their table in a restaurant; but then I realized they were all texting. Lol.

And for mercy sake, do things that make you feel good. Think quickly: What are five things that make you happy? Get to the gym, play with your puppy, garden, run, hike, or relax on your cushioned sofa. Find friends who actually love their lives and hang around with them as much as possible.

Tune out that reality TV for a bit and tune into reality. YOLO? You only live once, they say. False, my friends: You live every day. You only die once. So, try summing up how you feel about your life in one sentence. What would it be?

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.