You know how, when you take a multiple-choice test offering A, B, C, or D, and you’re like: “Well, I haven’t had ‘B’ for four questions, so I’ll choose that.” Well, you may feel like you have a multiple choice right about now. You’re either going to burst out and blow up, wither away and melt, or go flat out crazy. You’re told to get a thicker skin, to stop being a drama queen, or you get some half-hearted support about how great you’re supposedly doing. Is anyone you know, including yourself, handling his or her emotions in a healthy way these days?
You may not have lost all your marbles yet; but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere, right? If we’re being honest, many of us feel overpowered or at the mercy of our feelings. Have you been a tad more aggressive as of late, picking fights with others, or just a bit more heated? Perhaps you worry obsessively, and are feeling overwhelmed by simply everything. If you have too much situational awareness and are hypervigilant all day; trust me, you need some kind of release for all that pent-up energy.
What’s that? You talk to yourself because you’re the only one listening? Is it some motivational self-talk, or are you just muttering under your breath? Be mindful of how you talk to yourself. Are the words soothing? Words matter. Hint: A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. Treat your body well. After all, it is a temple. Is yours ancient and crumbling, or haunted? You may want to consider getting out into the sunshine and taking a nature walk. By all means, change your scenery.
You’re not much for seizing the day. You’re just kinda poking it with a stick. I get it. You run like the winded? It’s time to pack a stress relief kit, sweet friends. Here goes. Add fuzzy socks, chamomile tea, and some peppermint or lavender oil. Toss in some soothing bath salts, an audio or real book, a stress ball, and a bag of nuts. They are full of vitamins and antioxidants. And what’s a goodie bag without some chocolate? You can handle whatever life throws at you – especially if it’s dipped in chocolate first. You know what they say: Don’t bite off more than you can chew…unless it’s chocolate. Learn to decompress. You opened two gifts already this morning. They were your eyes. And don’t you just love the smell of possibility in the morning?
There’s your cup of “care.” Oh look, it’s empty. It is hard to keep caring with so much uncertainty on the horizon. Please try to stay in the moment. Notice your feet touching the ground right now. When you wash your hands (for the umpteenth time), feel the cool or warm water running over them. Look at all the colors and textures surrounding you. Pause and just breathe. Did you do anything self-loving for yourself today? By all means, discover something that feels comforting, calming, and soothing.
Every morning you wake up to a new set of rules and regulations. People you see are hyperalert to what they perceive as potential danger, and they have been convinced that the danger may be you. All that panic and avoidance of others can make you fall into a hole of sadness, my friends. Those fears suck any joy or optimism you might have woken up with. Please stop inundating yourself with never-ending statistics or so called “guidance” from the media. Often, what you hear is perspective, not truth. Surround yourself with people and things that give you a more joyful mindset for better days to come.
Have some healthful comfort food. Wait. Is that an oxymoron? Sometimes you need to count the memories, not the calories. Listen, the fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside. Don’t you miss the 1990s, when bread was good for you and no one knew what kale was? But truly, please eat well. Your diet is like a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.
We all know our emotional limits and just how much we can handle. Respect them by not gluing yourself to updates on your phone. No doubt this is a difficult time, but times change. And so will this. Do not forget your momentary pleasures: that hot chocolate, your favorite book, movie, or a soothing hot shower. Oh, and never judge a book by its movie.
Do not allow your mental and spiritual health to fall to the bottom of your priority pile. Please try to keep a balanced perspective of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Bleak predictions, scare mongering, and sensationalist propaganda are not helpful. Did you ever see what a tiny drop of food coloring can do to a clear glass of water? That is what one negative thought can do to your mind. Before you know it, it’s all black and blue. You know the nice part about being a pessimist is that you are either constantly being proven right, or you’re pleasantly surprised. But seriously, at the end of the day ask yourself: “Is there one thing I really enjoyed today?”
Just remember, before you judge others’ reactions: We all live in glass houses, and no one has clean windows. Have no fear, sweet friends. Sometimes a wrong turn can get you on the right track. Remember your purpose and the “why” for your existence. Your future is created by what you do today – not tomorrow.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
