What do you wish to do with your life? Did you go for a stable, reliable career or have you chosen something you truly love? It may be hard to muster energy for things in our lives that we feel we settled for. The safe, predictable choice may not always be the one that we have a passion for.
While it may feel tragic to spend an entire life in an unfulfilling career, we know that we cannot always pursue what we derive pleasure from. However, if you are blessed enough to have a calling in life, you might want to consider ways to possibly heed the call. Then again, they say: Life is rather like a tin of sardines. We’re all of us looking for the key.
Needless to say, your paycheck may be paramount; but is your job full of any meaning? I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit. But truly, hopefully your work taps into the creative and talented part of you. When do you feel most fully alive, sweet friends?
Perhaps you feel most like your authentic self when you are teaching, coding, or even baking cakes. We all provide a service to others, whether we realize it or not. You may not feel as though your work is significant, but trust me – it is. Then again, programming is ten percent writing code and 90 percent understanding why it’s not working.
It could be that you need to try a range of options to discover what is the best fit for you. Many of us never even come to know our true work identity. The truth is that we work much harder when our genuine selves are engaged.
Do you know what would bring you satisfaction and fulfillment in the long term? After all those endless meetings, conference calls, and emails, it’s difficult to even feel valued in a large corporation or company. Sure, let’s attend that staff meeting where we can discuss things that won’t actually happen. You know: where meetings are scheduled to schedule more meetings. But I digress…
We do not all have the luxury of seeing the end result of our work or efforts. We can help by encouraging students to find their aptitudes from a young age. It’s quite normal to be confused about many of our life choices, including career or even parenting styles. We have so many choices these days that sometimes we get paralyzed and make none.
You may know that you want pizza for dinner but knowing yourself will simply not arise spontaneously. Your goals are very personal to you. Speaking of pizza, take it easy and keep it cheesy. Okay, one for the kids: What kind of a person doesn’t like pizza? A weirdough.
But putting work aside, sweet friends, what do you actually enjoy doing? cooking, photography, gardening, party planning, playing music? What’s your pleasure? When was the last time you indulged in your passion or that relaxing activity? They say: In the end, you’ll realize the best thing in life is not something you can touch, but something you can feel.
And no, you are not being self-indulgent by pursuing this activity or source of pleasure. Be generous about the amount of time you give to yourself. Please reflect on what makes you happy in life and in love. Do not live day to day without considering your purpose.
What you do has an impact. Do not worry about the grander story of humanity. You may not have made a huge contribution to the meaning of the species. But perhaps you have alleviated the suffering of your best friend. Maybe you just cleaned your house, and this, too, helps enhance the meaning of life for those around you. And you never know what you have until you lose it – or clean your room.
Focus on the relationship you have with yourself, sweet friends. Highlight your emotional intelligence, please. Be tolerant of others and sensitive to the moods of your friends and family.
Know that anger almost always covers sadness. Learn to greet the troubles of existence with grace and to interpret your own feelings. Life lessons can be learned from an interaction with a stranger on the street, from a film, a song, or a Biblical verse.
Loosen your hold on self-righteousness, please. If you want your feelings known, please speak to her calmly and clearly. Believe it or not, you do occasionally get something wrong. But know that we are all out of our depth and struggling with our own demons.
Do not store up hatred or hurt for days on end. There is no perfect job or person. Good enough is truly good enough at times. His weakness of character may counterbalance his strengths, too. Everyone can be annoying close up, sweet friends. Do not be overly sentimental, because we, too, can be self-absorbed.
When your inner child raises his hand, greet him and celebrate all the little things that have gone well today. Stop trying to polish your image. Take off your armor and recognize how your past colors your response to life’s events.
Be brave enough to share your vulnerability with those whom you trust, and do get to know your true self. After all, it’s been observed: He who has a “why” to live can bear almost any “how.”
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
