At the Young Israel of West Hempstead, Michal Lobanov Shares Her Personal Story of Tragedy, Strength, and Hope
Michal Lobanov lost her husband to Hamas terrorists and gained a global family that continues to support her and other widows of hostages and fallen soldiers. Last Sunday, she shared her experiences at the Young Israel of West Hempstead.
“Michal is someone whom I love dearly but wish that I’d never had to meet. She’s from Ashkelon and I’m from Gush Etzion. I met her under the most difficult and sad circumstances,” said Yonit Rothchild, an American olah who founded the nonprofit Israel Alliance: Widows of Warriors, which provides financial and moral support.
Prior to the Hamas attack on October 7, 2023, Yonit was a police officer, and Alex Lobanov was the head barman at the Nova music festival, where Hamas massacred participants around dawn that day. They had one son at the time, and she was four months pregnant with their second son when Alex was taken captive. Widows of Warriors supported Michal through her pregnancy and the birth of her second son, Kai.
Last year, she was flown to Miami on a retreat and then felt ready to share her story with the public. “It immediately made me think of my grandparents who were Holocaust survivors. As my grandfather would say, ‘You must tell the story,’” Rothchild said. “Here we are, and the world is already denying October 7 and the Holocaust. We have to bear witness. It sounds distant, but when Michal tells the story, it’s the story of all of us.”
On the morning of October 7, Michal heard sirens. Considering Ashkelon’s proximity to Gaza, she did not expect them to mark the beginning of the deadliest massacre in Israel’s history. “We were used to it,” she said.
She called Alex at seven in the morning, who told her that the music festival was under attack. Their last conversation, two hours later, was short. “Michal, I’m okay. I’m hiding. I’ll call you back.” After that call, his phone did not answer.
“Alex ran away to the woods of Be’eri, hiding in the bushes. He was found by five civilians – three men and two boys, 15 years old – who took him to Gaza. The world needs to know that the civilians in Gaza are not innocent. He was kidnapped by 15-year-old boys,” she said.
Alex’s wife and parents traveled around the world to plead for his release. As he was a Russian citizen, they hoped that Russia’s relationship with Hamas would produce results. “They told us that [it would happen] in the next deal, but they lied to us,” she said.
In the meantime, the stress and traveling were impacting on her pregnancy. “I had a high-risk pregnancy. I tried to bring him back home. I had to go to the hospital. My doctor said that I had to rest. I decided to go home and wait to give birth. It was very hard for me.”
She received updates from the IDF informing her that Alex was alive, but without details. On February 28, 2024, she gave birth to Kai, with her mother-in-law Oksana at her side. “Yonit and Moshe met me at the end of October,” she said of the Rothchilds. “Our Jewish community in Israel and around the world helped me so much. I have a small family in Israel. I was strong and I survived this.”
At the bris milah, the rabbi handed the baby to Alex’s father, Gregory. “It was the hardest day of my life. I crashed on the floor crying so much.” Kai’s name was chosen by Alex months earlier, before he was captured.
“I learned later that Alex was held with other hostages who were later rescued, like Noa Argamani and Andrei Kozlov,” she said. These two were among the four hostages rescued by Israeli soldiers 247 days after they were kidnapped. By then, Alex was separated from them and taken to Rafah.
“From their stories, I learned that Alex was a very strong person. He was very concerned about my pregnancy. He wanted to come home and meet Kai,” Michal said.
In Rafah, he was kept with five other hostages. “We believe that Sinwar chose each one for a reason. They were the life shields of Sinwar,” she said of the terrorist leader. “They experienced the horrors of the Holocaust. He left instructions to kill the hostages.”
After forcing the six individuals to speak in an undated video statement, Hamas killed all of them nearly 11 months after they were captured. His body was recovered by the IDF two days later, along with those of Ori Danino, Eden Yerushalmi, Almog Sarusi, Hersh Goldberg-Polin, and Carmel Gat.
At 8:49 p.m., Michal received the text confirming Alex’s death and left her door open for the IDF officers who would deliver the message in person the following morning. “I wanted to identify him. I needed closure.”
She went with her younger brother to the Abu Kabir forensic institute in Tel Aviv. “Alex was very beautiful. He was shot all over his body from head to toe. I took my phone and played a video of Tom and Kai laughing. I played it 20 times until my brother said to stop. He heard them laughing. Then I started closure, and people came to the shiv’ah.”
Her pain did not ease as Hamas then released videos of the hostages pleading for their lives. “Each day they released a video of one of the six. [There was a] video of Alex in which he said how much he misses his family. He looked at the camera. He told us to stay strong and united. These six beautiful heroes stayed united, and we have to do it also. We have to do it for them.”
Michal shared a short home video of Kai, “who looks exactly like Alex,” pointing at a photo of his father. “We struggle in life. My final closure will be when all the hostages come back home. I ask you to pray for the hostages who are still in Gaza. I will keep spreading his goodness and midos tovos.”
Alex loved to serve people, opening up a beer stall at Jerusalem’s Machane Yehuda Market, and later creating his own bar company for special events, such as the Nova music festival. In his honor, Rothchild shared a bottle of liquor with Alex’s image on the label. “He liked to make people happy, pouring people a good drink,” she said. “Michal is one of 170 widows we are helping. We lost 900 soldiers; over a third were married. Over 300 widows, over a thousand orphans. Financial, thoughtful, and everything that we do is actually knowing the women. Each one lost a world. We meet them where they’re at.”
Yonit’s husband, Moshe, spoke in a promotional video, which also included former Knesset Member Shuli Moalem-Rafaeli. “We want to create an amazing future for them.” Scenes showed recreational programs, retreats, and preparation of Shabbos meals. Moalem-Rafaeli is among Israel’s best-known widows, having lost her first husband in a military helicopter collision above southern Lebanon. As an advocate, she identified shortcomings in government support that led to legislation and the creation of nonprofits to fill in the gaps.
“This mitzvah is mentioned 12 times!” Yonit Rothchild said. “My husband says that Eretz Yisrael has borders and am Yisrael has no borders.”
For more information on this organization and its impact, visit www.widowsofwarriors.org.
By Sergey Kadinsky
