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In last week’s paper, I published a letter from a friend of a friend who had been dating someone for five years. Years. She thought he was her bashert and was waiting for the moment it would be made official. But that was not to be. She visited her boyfriend and his family over Pesach, at his insistence in Florida, only to have him break up with her there and basically kick her out of his life.

As many will remember, I published an article last year about how the neighborhood I grew up in and love will not be the neighborhood where my husband and I find our “forever home” because of the price of real estate. I am not here to argue about the quality of life in KGH or “well, that’s the price you pay for living in a frum community with several kosher groceries, shuls, yeshivos, mikva’os, etc.” I simply stated a fact then, and I am stating it again. The prices of the houses in Kew Gardens Hills (and in New York City) make it difficult for a “young” family to plant roots here. I still consider myself young; but here’s a fact that I’d like all of you who sent in the hate mail to know:

Many non-pet owners can’t understand the love people have for their pets. They dress them, groom them, cook special food for them, have expensive toys, etc. They even refer to their pets as their children. I don’t have a pet, but my cousins and aunt do (and apparently, I have a four-legged first cousin).

I can’t tell you how many emails I have received regarding online dating: whether it was a good idea way back, when it really caught on in the frum dating community, or for how to get comfortable with dating through the computer during COVID, or for people scared of being catfished or having been catfished. To remind everyone what catfish is, it’s when a person takes information and images, typically from other people, and uses them to create a new identity for themselves. While you may think you are speaking with “Sarah,” a 33-year-old CPA from Brooklyn, it may actually be Moshe, a 55-year-old man from Chicago. I published an article over a year ago from a young man who was catfished by someone pretending to be her thinner, prettier cousin. So, there is a lot to think about when it comes to online dating.

I’ve received a few letters similar to the one below. Usually, they are written by the mother of the chasan if it is “his” question, that his mother is writing about. If it’s from the kallah’s point of view, then typically the kallah herself has written to me.

Dear Goldy:

I’m writing you because I don’t have the same self-confidence that you do. You’re not shy. You’re outspoken. You write your opinions and what you’ve said to men that you dated (I read your book). I want you to give me the confidence boost that I need in order to date.