Opinion

There are all different types of people at a typical chasunah, and over the course of your life, you get to be all of them. Well, maybe not the very shvitzy guy who does pushups at Keitzad Merakdim. But first you’re the little kid running around at the end of the wedding way past your bedtime, acting overtired and eating way later than you’re used to. Then you’re a friend of the chosson and kallah, dancing elbows first and knocking things over. Then you have a stage where you’re kind of sick of weddings. Then it comes back around, where now your friends are making weddings, and you get to enjoy the night out with your spouse.

If you’re thinking of moving out of New York right now for whatever reason, here’s a thought: Why not New Jersey?

Okay, I can tell you why not New Jersey.

NOTE: This article is about a serious health procedure that saves lives but that people are afraid of undergoing. I understand that a lot of readers are not in the parshah, and they can feel free to sleep through it, but the truth is that awareness of certain things helps people make peace with them over time. That said, I’m going to try to talk about it in as sensitive a manner as possible. I’ve even gone through the entire article to scrub out any puns that people might consider inappropriate, in order to make sure this article is on the up and up. Because this is a procedure everyone should go through, in the end.

If you’re tuning in this week to find out if I caught the mice in my garage, you’re going to be very disappointed.

Not as disappointed as me, and not as disappointed as my wife when she finds out I’m telling the world we have mice.

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, is that’s we’re in severe need of good news these days. Unfortunately, we can’t even all agree on what would be considered good news.

 I think we have a mouse problem in our garage.

Actually, it’s not as much of a problem as it sounds like, because it’s a detached garage.