In Camp Dora Golding, we invest a lot of time and effort to develop a Tish’ah B’Av morning program that will inspire our campers and hopefully resonate with them. As is the practice in many shuls and camps, we don’t recite too many kinos. But each one that we do say is introduced by one of the camp rebbeim, followed by an inspiring and relevant video.
On Tish’ah B’Av morning, I was asked to give the final speech, introducing the final kinah, Eli Tziyon.
I began by referencing a halachah that one would think would be the last thing to be mentioned during Kinos: “Mi’she’nichnas Adar marbin b’simchah,” the beloved concept that when the month of Adar begins, in anticipation of the joyous holiday of Purim, we increase our joy.
The N’sivos Shalom explains that one increases his joy by focusing on and increasing his appreciation of the blessings he has in his life.
The Mishnah (Avos 4:1) states, “Who is a wealthy person? One who is happy with his portion.” We often struggle with feelings of jealousy and resentment that we don’t have some of the blessings we see others have. Adar and Purim are times to be increasingly grateful for what we do have and to appreciate that we have exactly what Hashem deems we are supposed to have. That is not an easy recognition to attain and requires significant focus and internal thought.
It’s not often realized that when the Gemara (Taanis 29a) says that one should increase joy in Adar, it is not said as a standalone statement. The full statement reads: “Just as we decrease in joy when (the month of) Av enters, so do we increase our joy when (the month of) Adar enters.” The Gemara is clear that there is a direct connection between the decrease of joy in Av and the increase of joy in Adar. They are two sides of the same coin. How is that to be understood?
According to the N’sivos Shalom, our increase of joy at the beginning of Adar entails that we develop a greater appreciation for what we have. If that’s true, does that mean that when Av comes, we decrease our joy by causing ourselves to be more unhappy with what we have and feeling less fulfilled? How can the Gemara want a person to focus on what he is lacking?
Perhaps that is indeed exactly the point! We spend Tish’ah B’Av morning mourning all we have lost with the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, including korbanos, the pilgrimage to Yerushalayim each holiday, and our pride as a people. But with time, we become accustomed to our surroundings and accept them as part of life.
When Hashem informed our ancestors that He was going to take them out of Mitzrayim, the pasuk says, “…And you will know that I am Hashem Who brings you out from under the sivlos Mitzrayim (the sufferings of Egypt).”
The Chidushei HaRim noted that the word sivlos is an expression of being able to tolerate something. When someone says, “I can be sovel this,” he means that he has the patience to deal with it.
Redemption can only occur when those in exile feel they can’t tolerate exile and are desperate for it to end.
When the pasuk says, “I bring you out from the sivlos Mitzrayim,” it means that Hashem implanted in the Jews a restlessness and feeling of desperation with their current state. Until then, they were sovel the exile. But now that the time of redemption had arrived, they had to yearn for it with their entire being.
On Tish’ah B’Av, as we recall all the pain of exile and how much we have lost and continue to lose by languishing in exile, it should engender a feeling of restlessness and impatience with the exile. We have to feel that we can no longer tolerate the status quo. We should not be happy with our lot; rather, we should pine for redemption and spiritual growth.
That is what the Gemara is teaching us. Just like in Av, we minimize our joy – the joy of being happy with what we have – because we yearn for change and redemption; so, too, in the same vein, we increase our joy – the joy of being happy with whatever we have been blessed with – in Adar.
When Israel regained control of Chevron and M’aras HaMachpeilah in 1967, administrative responsibility for the holy site remained with the Islamic Waqf (trust) and the Palestinian Authority. This arrangement led to ongoing disputes and delays, particularly regarding renovations and accessibility improvements for Jews at the site.
Last month, Israel officially transferred administrative authority to the Kiryat Arba–Hebron Religious Council.
After decades of an unchallenged status quo, it has finally been challenged and overturned.
In a sense, we remain in exile as long as the status quo remains unchecked. (I am not referring to the physical status quo, as in the Har HaBayis. That is a highly charged political matter which I am not addressing here. Rather, I am referring to our attitude and perspective that “it is what it is.”)
Redemption is, by definition, a revolution that overturns what has been in effect until then.
On Tish’ah B’Av, we feel a deepening of yearning for a change in the status quo of exile. The comfort of Shabbos Nachamu and the seven weeks after Tish’ah B’Av is rooted in our faith that it will occur.
May we merit it soon!
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker, columnist, and author. He is a rebbe at Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ. and principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, NY. Rabbi Staum is also a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and at www.strivinghigher.com.
