Do you genuinely like yourself? You may be unaware if your lack of self-acceptance is wreaking havoc across a range of emotional situations in your life. Hey, if I had no emotions, I don’t know how I’d feel about it.
But truly, what do you really feel about your own disposition? Perhaps you are only pleased with yourself when you win the boss’ approval. Speaking of bosses, just remember: People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.
The suspicion about your true self-worth may linger in ways unknown to even yourself. Questioning and examining your choices is not the same as an unending sequence of attacks on your being. Take a measure of your sense of self. If people knew who you really were…what would they think?
If you find yourself coming to mistaken conclusions that you are not a worthy person, know this: You deserve to treat yourself with kindness and generosity. You have to accompany yourself throughout your entire life, so you best enjoy your own company, sweet friends.
What are some of your intensely felt hopes or dreams? Perhaps you should consider living life one day at a time. Your greatest enemy may be impatience. Your goals may best be achieved by letting go of control and recognizing that some things literally take years to unfold.
Career fulfillment may alter quite slowly in a positive direction. Child rearing and working on intimate relationships takes time, my friends. A lot of it. The parenting skill I’m most proud of is being able to shove a whole candy bar in my mouth and talk normally when a kid walks in. And you know what they say: Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
You may be ruminating over many decisions in your life. Get out of that unsmiley mood, please. No one goes through this world unscathed. You know that the severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. But life need not be a horror show. You may have had your fill of pain and misery. But has brooding over your hurt or heartache helped you?
Your friends tell you to cheer up. You may resent that inordinately. But in the end, you will build yourself up by accepting reality despite it all. Bemoaning your fate plunges you further into feelings of self-pity.
Can you look at the bright side of life? Sometimes we must simply embrace gallows humor. When men were sent to the gallows in the Middle Ages, they oftentimes recited a witticism. Can you joke or make humorous remarks about unpleasant or worrying subjects such as death or illness? At times, you may need to, my friends. Hey, I heard someone say: “I’ve been sick for like 48 hours, but guess what? I’m still gonna order a piece of cake with my soup because I refuse to die without cake being partly to blame.”
Scrolled through social media again and here comes that pang of envy for what seems like her “perfect life.” None of us are removed from stress and sorrow. Surprise yourself with a bit of self-love.
Do not allow yourself to feel like a victim of your circumstances. If you behave like a victim, you prolong your suffering. Yes, life can sting. But the Universe is not against you. It did not start to rain simply because you forgot your umbrella today. When it pours or hails coconuts on you, put on a cute raincoat and some matching boots. You know there’s a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It’s called Monday. Can we all agree that the office should be closed when it rains?
Some are dealt a tough hand and remain grateful through it all. The truth is that we must take responsibility for our own happiness. Keep your hands on the wheel. If you wear victim-colored glasses, you cannot take back your power. Mentally strong people do not feel like the world owes them anything.
We must let go of the expectation of fairness, sweet friends. We all know what we want our lives to look like. But oftentimes, Plan A fails. Free yourself from the burden of hoping everything will work out exactly the way you think it should. Heck, when everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
You may be able to surrender to your pain knowing that your loved ones will make their best effort to support you. Above all, learn to laugh at yourselves. Try using humor so as not to arouse irritation or anger at your current challenge. Ditch that overly serious tone. Observe flaws and failures with some comic exaggeration.
Sometimes you feel like you’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe. I get it. Be playful, my friends. And please stop worrying about germs. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
