So, what are you afraid of? You know what they say: “You’ve never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.” You know, if people in horror movies just listened to me, they would still be alive. Yet anxiety and angst are currents that run through every one of our lives.

Fear of illness, death, rejection, or failure? Uneasiness and apprehension are normal feelings that serve as signals to a potential threat to your physical or emotional safety. But living in constant agitation and trepidation can become crushing, all-consuming, and unbearable.

There is a difference between living in fear and living with it. Have you become hypersensitive as of late? Does your uneasiness make you feel out of control, scared, or even suspicious?

Make no mistake, sweet friends: Choosing to feed your obsessive or even irrational fears and foreboding will lead to a maladaptive lifestyle. So, what is causing your overwhelming fretfulness? Too much caffeine? Life without coffee is like something without something. Sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet. I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. Is there coffee in it? But I digress…

Do you allow yourself to engage in incessant media exposure perhaps? Whoever controls the media controls the mind. Remember, not all believe that mainstream media is based on facts. “And now it’s time to go over the carefully selected stories and statistics that have been chosen to manipulate your emotions and your thinking.” “Good evening. It’s 6 o’clock, and here’s what we want you to think.” Turn off those weapons of mass deception, please.

Do not let your cares and concerns run the show. Please change your mindset and mentality. Is every ounce of energy and all of your focus on “staying safe” these days? We cannot live peacefully in a perpetual state of “What if?” Life will happen, sweet friends. Choose faith over doubt. Don’t allow those qualms or worries to gobble up the space in your head like a computer virus gobbles up all of the space on a hard drive. Trust me, there is nothing in this world that can trouble and plague you as much as your own thoughts.

What’s your mantra? “A spill, a slip, a hospital trip?” A peaceful mind will hear intuition over fear. No need to control those ideations. Just do not let them control you. Those dark thoughts and assumptions are like having a bully stuck inside your head. As long as you are going to be thinking anyway, think positively. Just remember that fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. Worrying about the rest of your life? Master this day and then just keep doing that for the rest of your life.

No need to put up your umbrella until it rains, sweet friends. We humans are designed to adapt. Close your eyes and picture someone you admire. How would they have faced this challenge that you are living through? Have courage. It is the secret sauce that allows us to act, in spite of our fears. Sure, it’s as simple as ABC: “Always Be Careful.” But do take that first step – even if you don’t see the whole staircase.

Here’s a little secret for y’all: Fear cannot exist side by side with positive emotions. So, strike that power pose and shift your focus. Where your target goes, your energy flows. Practice your stress-busting activities: whether it’s yoga, a walk, or dancing around the living room... I know, it’s time for some exercise and you’re still walking funny from your last workout. It’s okay if you’re heavily meditated.

Do you have any confidence-building activities in your life? What are they? Do not allow yourself to get caught in a negative spiral of worry. Pay attention to what you can actually control in your day-to-day life. Ask what could go right for a change. If you have taken those concerns to an irrational extreme, please challenge your thoughts. Remember all your strengths and how they have helped you in the past.

We all have sinking feelings. Maybe one of your biggest ones is that you’ll marry into a family that does 5Ks on holidays. I get it. I’m sure you’re familiar with Newton’s third law of Emotion: “For every male action, there is a female overreaction.”

By all means, please put things in perspective. That boat may be safe in the harbor. But that is not what boats are for, my friends. Faith is strength when you feel you have none. Hope may not remove your pain, but it will get you through it. Please don’t live in so much dread of what could happen that you forget to enjoy what is happening.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at