Careful who you pretend to be. You might forget who you are. So, you arrived at this intersection, and may be questioning everything you thought you knew about life. Whether we know it or not, existential crises are almost always spiritual in nature. At times, you may feel like you don’t even understand who you are anymore. Who do you want to be? Do you even remember who you were before society told you who you should be? But heck, it’s Friday so any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window.

You got so caught up in the drama of day-to-day existence that you forgot. You may value your accomplishments and achievements, or you may simply see them as meaningless at times. You are searching for anyplace on this earth that actually feels like “home.” We all face unique challenges and even traumas. Some suffer from chronic illness or anxiety. Others have to deal with loss of a loved one or a crumbling relationship. Job change, moving, or even shifting into a new phase of your life can feel quite threatening. Middle age anyone? The time when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart? You know what they say: Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Uh, oh. Think of it this way, sweet friends: Birthdays are good for you. Studies show that people who have the most, live the longest.

The prolonged isolation that was forced upon us in the last couple of years was devastating and even destabilizing for so many of us. Record numbers of people experienced anxiety, depression, and incessant fear and preoccupation. Please take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

Who wouldn’t want to shift to a higher level of consciousness? Some of us seek to become more aware of reality as it exists beyond the confines of ourselves. I’m also tired of explaining to my spiritual guru how emails work. He can’t just understand what “attachments” are.

What do you think you need the most to make you feel satisfied and secure? Is it material or spiritual in nature? If you are in debt, is that big house or fancy car worth a lifetime of bondage? You just filled out a credit card application. They asked you your source of income and you wrote: ATM.  You look forward to paying off all your debt and go back to just being broke? I know. It’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle. Your true gift is an infinite spiritual trust fund, which at the present time, remains unclaimed.

But if we’re being honest, the source of emotional pain and emptiness inside is oftentimes a spiritual hunger. We believe we have done a massive amount of inner work, but our egos are the only things that may have grown. Here’s a hint for you: Ego takes everything personally. It’s been said: “Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.” An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says: “I’ll have to see some Id.” Heh. “I love you exactly the way I am.” Remember this: “Ego” is a small, three-letter word that can easily destroy a big 12-letter word called: “relationship.”

Look at me in the third eye when you speak to me. Sure, we all want a sign from the Universe pointing us in the direction we should go. Some of us would like 25 angels and perhaps a billboard, as well. We’re all “winging” it. Isn’t that what angels do? In fact, you have to ditch old habits that are no longer serving you. You are the only one who can recalibrate your soul to find what meshes with your spirit.

Shedding your old skin, and trying to form a new identity? When things don’t add up, start subtracting.  Begin a weeding out and purging process. G’head, clean the fridge. Clean out your closet while you’re at it. You’re so athletic. You surf the Internet. Go offline. I dare you. Don’t you wish you could finish cleaning the house and just hit the “Save” button? Clean out the car, just in case anyone needs 27 half-empty bottles of water, too.

You were told to throw away anything that doesn’t give you joy, and all you’ve thrown out are vegetables and the electric bill? You know how you hate every article of clothing you own, but when you go to throw something away, you develop this deep sentimental relationship with it? Look around. All that clutter used to be money. Remember: It’s better to donate than accumulate. Relax, and allow peace to come into you. Let your thoughts pass without judgment. Let go of the mental clutter.

No, you have not arrived.  We humans are continually evolving and growing. Always keep your feet on the ground, sweet friends, but lift your face toward the Heavens. Happiness will not come when you get rid of all of your problems, but when you change your relationship and disposition toward them.

The way you see the problem – is the problem. Think of problems as your washing machine: They twist and spin and knock you around. But in the end, you come out cleaner, brighter, and better than before.  And having an empty laundry basket is the best several seconds of the week, right?

Your sacred path is a life-long journey. Allow someone to open a spiritual door for you. Stop trying to convince everyone of your world view or ego-shattering realizations, please. Recognize and accept that everyone is on his or her own unique path. Anyone you meet, even the clerk in the grocery store, can be your teacher.

You decide.  What type of energy are you putting out into the world?

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or at