On Wednesday night, September 20, Congregation Ohel Sara hosted an overflow crowd of community women gathered to hear an inspiring shiur by Rebbetzin Slovie Jungreis Wolff. The shiur, titled “Better Your Relationships, Better Your Year,” was hosted by Chazaq, Amudim, and UJA.
Rebbetzin Jungreis Wolff radiated that special Jungreis fire and love as she shared words of wisdom on parenting and stories from her illustrious family.
She began by sharing how everyone in the world has one thing in common, and it isn’t something you can buy. It’s the gift of time. Everyone has a 24-hour day. Hashem gave us this gift of time, and before Yom Kippur we ask Him to renew our lease.
Hashem doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He wants us to open our hearts and come home. He wants us to use this time to reconnect and rediscover who we are in this world. We have to ask ourselves how we use this gift of time.
She shared the tragic story of a terrorist attack in Israel that claimed the life of two young boys. The mother, Devorah Paley, told some children who came to pay a shiv’ah call, “You have your entire life in front of you. Use your time. Don’t stop learning and growing and doing. You’re lucky and blessed. These two boys, on the other hand, have no more time.”
Rebbetzin Wolff taught that we have the gift of time. Hashem gave it to us. How do we make this Yom Kippur different? How do we use this gift to the maximum? Adam messed up on the first day of his life. Hashem asked him, “Where are you?” Hashem knew where he was, of course. Aiyeka means: Where are you spiritually and emotionally in your relationships and in your connection to Hashem?
Adam answers Hashem’s question. He says the wife You gave me caused me to sin. This is because it is human nature not to take responsibility. It’s never “me.” The Torah is teaching us that on Yom Kippur we have to say, “It’s me. I am responsible.”
Adam said, “I’m going to eat.” He’s saying he will sin again. How could he say I ate and I’m still eating?
She explained that it’s human nature when, we mess up, to have regrets, and we think that we can’t change. We say it’s just who I am. The Torah explains that there is no such thing. Everybody can change and do something different. We have to use our spiritual muscles to be brave. This begins with using our time. There are three relationships in the world. We have to work on our relationship with ourselves. We need quiet time to think. What makes me “me”? What gives me joy? What gets me upset? What inspires me? How is this world different because I am here?
Every morning I wake up and Hashem is saying that only you can accomplish your mission. You need to ask yourself, “What is my mission? How do I add meaning to my days?”
She spoke about trying to bolster the spirits of a woman with many challenges. Rebbetzin Jungreis Wolff said she should think about the blessing of the rooster. Hashem gave him the wisdom to know the difference between night and day. She shared that her mother, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis a”h, taught the following powerful idea. The rooster never tells Hashem that he doesn’t want to wake at dawn. There is no such thing. We have to wake up to serve our Creator. In the pitch dark, the rooster tells the world to wake up – there is light. We have a choice. We can sit in darkness and say it’s not fair. Or we can say that we have time. We will add meaning to our lives and make a difference in the world. See light when it comes. That is the choice we all have. We can be like the rooster. The rooster sees the tiny beginning of light at the darkest time.
Rebbetzin Jungreis Wolff shared that relationships with others have so much strife and judgment. We’ve had every type of persecution. The world wants to kill us.
Her Zeidy never was angry, even though he lived through the Holocaust. He said that if neshamos would come back to the world, they would want to make shalom. They would seek people they didn’t talk to and make peace. Her Zeidy said to make shalom and talk to someone you aren’t talking to because we have that gift of time.
At the end of the Sh’moneh Esrei, we take three steps back and we say, “Oseh shalom.” We bend left and right because sometimes we have to bend to people to the left of us and to the right of us and we say, “Make peace.”
She taught that “Am Yisrael needs peace!” When Yosef was looking for his brothers, he tells the angel, “I am looking for my brothers.” Her Zeidy would say that this year your mission in this world is to look for your brothers and sisters. Show you care. Open your heart. Invite someone for Shabbos. “We all have a spark inside waiting to be ignited.
In our relationship with Hashem, these days give us connection if we want it. Hashem blew our neshamah into us. The shofar takes the breath of life and, on the most holy day, we blow back. When you blow air of Hashem back, it becomes a huge sound. “Hashem, I am giving you the breath of life that You are giving me.”
We should approach Yom Kippur knowing that Hashem is forever connecting to me. I’m forever connected to Hashem. “Talk to Hashem. Be strong and have hope in Hashem again and again. Never give up, because your soul is bonded with Hashem.”
Rebbetzin Jungreis shared her new beautiful sefer, The Soul of Parenting, which is truly a valuable jewel.
By Susie Garber
