Opinion

Are you homesick for the whole entire world? Of course you’re having family or friends for the holiday. But who’s that in the corner? Some unwelcome guests just showed up: anger, depression, and anxiety. Sheesh. If I’d have known you were coming, I would have left the house.

I ordered a course extension called: “How to Deal with Life’s Disappointments.” Yesterday, I got the first lesson by mail. It was an empty envelope. Don’t you also like failure? It’s so easy to achieve. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

The car in front of you has been cruising at 15 mph for four blocks already. How tightly is that anxiety gripping you right now? Anger, grief, depression, and resentment are your new daily companions? You feel as though you’re either going to burst, or fly apart and fracture into a thousand pieces.

You know how, when you take a multiple-choice test offering A, B, C, or D, and you’re like: “Well, I haven’t had ‘B’ for four questions, so I’ll choose that.” Well, you may feel like you have a multiple choice right about now. You’re either going to burst out and blow up, wither away and melt, or go flat out crazy. You’re told to get a thicker skin, to stop being a drama queen, or you get some half-hearted support about how great you’re supposedly doing. Is anyone you know, including yourself, handling his or her emotions in a healthy way these days?

Hey, if your mind is really always closed, why is your mouth open? Not seeing eye to eye with too many people nowadays? Isn’t it just so much easier to agree than disagree anyway? If you feel like you’re about to lose it with nearly everyone around you, please remind yourself of this: You may be stark raving mad about the opinion or idea your friend is stating, but you’re not angry at her. Please depersonalize and, above all, resist the temptation to be sarcastic, scolding, or cutting. Not always a good idea to stir the pot. Know what you’re cooking before you get burned.

You know the feeling of lying under a really heavy, soft blanket? Even though it’s all weighty and dense, it still feels so utterly familiar and comfortable. Yikes, change it for something lighter? That’s too unnerving. Talk about embracing the unfamiliar. Welcome to our unprecedented, unaccustomed new life, where the government seems to have a problem for every solution. You just checked your account balance at the ATM and it printed you coupons for ramen noodles. I know. Let’s be honest. Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars.