A few weeks ago, we began having washing machine issues. Our washing machine would begin doing its thing perfectly; but somewhere towards the end of the cycle, it would stop. An error code would come up on the machine’s screen, and the machine began beeping annoyingly.
Although there is never a good time for a washing machine to break, since we were packing to leave for the summer, it was particularly stressful.
We tried to fix it ourselves (to be honest, “we” doesn’t mean me) by opening the bowels of the machine and ensuring that there was no obstruction, etc. But, alas, the beeping and error code kept returning. Finally, we called a professional technician to help financially support their heroic efforts.
After spending some time analyzing, disassembling, growling, and interrogating our washing machine, the technician came to his conclusion. He (literally) sat us down and gave us a detailed lecture about how our washing machine works. He concluded that we were adding too much soap to our loads. The soap was producing too many bubbles, and the bubbles were alerting the machine’s built-in computer system that something was out of place. That was causing the error display to appear and the cycle to stop. The technician assured us that if we go easy on the soap, the washing machine would be as good as new. Who would have thought that you can be too clean?
When we purchase products or look for any form of service, including a doctor, plumber, or electrician, we want someone experienced. (My rebbi, Rabbi Berel Wein, quips that every k’hilah wants a young rabbi with decades of experience. Those impossible demands ensure that everyone will be disappointed, no matter how qualified the rabbi is.)
Companies and eateries boast that they have been in business since whatever year they were founded. They do so to convince the consumer that they know their field well and can provide quality products or services.
There is no “being” in this world more experienced than our yeitzer ha’ra. The yeitzer ha’ra’s tag line could be: “luring people into sin for over 5,700 years.” There’s a reason the yeitzer ha’ra is still in business: It’s really good at what it does. If we want to have any chance at overcoming it, we need to be very aware of its machinations and tricks.
One of its best tactics is to use the “too many bubbles in the washing machine” approach. Periodically, a person becomes inspired and decides to push himself out of his comfort zone to grow spiritually. He commits himself to a new endeavor that he feels is doable and sustainable. But then that persistent voice within starts gnawing at him that his commitment is minuscule and insignificant. What’s the use anyway? Is his little commitment really going to propel him to new heights and make him a better person?
So, he decides that he has to make a bigger commitment and push himself even harder. Within a short time, he has burned himself out and falls back into his familiar comfort zone. His evil inclination has successfully convinced him to put more soap into the load until the plethora of bubbles stops the whole machine.
It’s a great tactic and we seem to fall for it every time.
How can we protect ourselves from falling prey to such thoughts? By recognizing the value of our efforts to grow spiritually, by celebrating our accomplishments, even the seemingly small ones.
A young man once came to the Steipler Gaon bemoaning that he is constantly falling prey to his yeitzer ha’ra. The Steipler asked the young man if he ever overcame his yeitzer ha’ra. The young man replied that he did on occasion, but those victories were too far and few between. The Steipler told the young man that he has no idea how much nachas he brings Hashem every time he overcomes his yeitzer ha’ra. Yes, he needs to maintain the struggle and not give up. But he must also realize how valuable his efforts are.
Although we constantly need to strive to be just a little bit better, we have to appreciate the value of everything we do, and the greatness of every added effort. That itself will help motivate us to want to continue to grow and accomplish. But if we fail to realize that, we will “add too much soap to the cycle” and end up with nothing.
To be candid, although the washing machine worked well after the technician left, by the next day, the error was back. With little recourse, we had to purchase a new washing machine. But then, if I would have told you that right away, I wouldn’t have been able to write this brilliant column.
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, a rebbe at Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, New Jersey, is a parenting consultant and maintains a private practice for adolescents and adults. He is also a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding for over two decades. Rabbi Staum was a community rabbi for ten years, and has been involved in education as a principal, guidance counselor, and teacher in various yeshivos. Rabbi Staum is a noted author and sought-after lecturer, with hundreds of lectures posted on torahanytime.com. He has published articles and books about education, parenting, and Torah living in contemporary society. Rabbi Staum can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. His website containing archives of his writings is www.stamTorah.info.