Not certain that I have an inner “child,” but I sure do have an inner dork that surfaces every now and then. Can you relate? Do you consciously challenge yourself to stretch to the highest level of your being? Wow, Caroline, whatever does that mean? We talk of “evolving” in elegant and exquisite terms, but first you must have a vision of what you are moving towards. Do you wish to cultivate more empathy and compassion? Perhaps you want to learn to adapt better to unexpected circumstances in your life. Let’s be honest. If you don’t evolve, you will continue to revolve. Do you really want to make those same mistakes again? I didn’t think so. You have no time, you say? If you have time for Instagram and Facebook, you got time to feed your spiritual being. I saw that. Don’t you roll that third eye at me. Lol.

Want to get started? I’ll give you a hint. What you are afraid of doing is usually what you most need to do. You do not have to be the same person you were a year ago – or even ten minutes ago, for that matter. Let yourself transform as many times as you need to. No need to lather, rinse, repeat.

Check the box if you spend lots of time worrying, imagining, doubting, over-thinking, or expecting. If I asked you to eliminate anything that does not help you develop and grow, which of the aforementioned would have to go first? Are you surrounded by naysayers? Just realize that the ones who say “that can’t be done” are usually interrupted by the ones doing it.

Truth is that you may actually have a pretty great life; but you’re too busy looking down at your phone to notice it. Of course, it’s overwhelming to even think about working on a deep emotional wound that you may have been suppressing for years. But trust me, if you throw in the towel too soon, G-d may just throw it back.

Start by simply acting like the person you truly want to be. Feel so fake now that you make Barbie look real? Trust me: You are consciously building those positive emotions within yourself. And when was the last time anyone complained that you are being nicer; taking out the garbage or helping with the kids wasn’t quite “authentic” enough? We all need to give ourselves a little (or not so little) push for those underdeveloped qualities within us. Just remember: A push will get you almost anywhere – except through a door marked “Pull.” Lol.

Do you really want to develop spiritually? You don’t need candles or crystals, though they can never hurt. Indeed, may the Quartz be with you. So here are my tips, sweet friends: When you speak, remember my Rule of Three: Only say things that are genuine, kind, or necessary.

Try to be as reliable and consistent as you possibly can. Next time you’re tempted to make excuses or defend your behavior when someone calls you out on something, please don’t. Excuses will always be there for you. Opportunity won’t. Remember when you were a kid and “Talk to the hand was the best defense you had”? Heh.

But seriously, if you want true conscious awakening, then please don’t spend your precious time and effort trying to change people or things that cannot be changed. You tried and didn’t see results immediately? Setbacks are part of life. Would you slash your other three tires just because you got a flat? Don’t give up.

Don’t say things that are fake and fictitious, even to your own sweet self. Instead of sending invitations to your daily pity party, try to become aware of the enlightenment and understanding that you gained from the suffering you have gone through. If you have a beef with someone and you’re still licking your wounds, please speak directly to that someone. No need to tell four of your best friends. Have the courage to confront them as lovingly as you possibly can. And by all means, do acts of lovingkindness to yourself. When you feel a higher sense of purpose, you feel as though you are living the life you were meant to live.

So be a doer, not a dreamer. Pay close attention to the hidden truth in everything around you. They are literally everywhere: books, movies, song lyrics. After all, life is your teacher. And a grownup, after all, is just a child with a whole lotta layers on. You’ve upgraded all your technology, sweet friends; why not upgrade yourself?

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at