Dating Today

Argumentative, Or Simply Having An Opinion

Dear Goldy: I went out a few times with a girl. The next thing I know, the shadchan calls and told me...

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A few weeks ago I published an article re: how I was berated at work, and how lies were readily believed about me, even when I had evidence to disprove all. I told my readers how I stood up for myself and, even if the person I was addressing wasn’t paying attention to the words coming out of my mouth, I was proud of myself that I did not take the lies and criticism lying down and humbly walk out of the office with my tail between my legs, apologizing for “my behavior.” I told my readers to always stand up for themselves and never let anyone – especially not someone you are dating – make you feel bad about yourself or put you down. Well, the emails came pouring in. I’d like to share parts of some of them with you, in some cases large parts of the emails. It doesn’t matter the situation; all these people felt that they stood up for themselves.

I have read plenty of emails from people asking for advice, and others who freely give advice and tell me what I should write about and why. But I have never had someone begin an email asking a question, seeking out advice and end the email with figuring out what she wants to do. Until now.

 I have always said that I truly believe people mean well, and I try to be dan l’chaf z’chus in all situations. Yet I am human and sometimes I do get frustrated or annoyed at someone without knowing the full story or their intentions. That being said, when I read the email below, I felt for the single woman who wrote the letter. I truly do not think the intentions of her cousin were mean or in any way trying to flaunt the fact that she is married with a family and her single cousin is not. Still, the single cousin was hurt. Read on.

I know that I promised to get back to my regularly scheduled articles after I wrote Part Two about my co-worker Rivky, but I can’t. Something has happened in the last week, and I feel that if I didn’t write about it, I would be doing a disservice to all. Think of this as a Public Service Announcement. This article is for everyone, whether you’re single, in high school, retired, married for several years, divorced, etc. But, yes, at the end I will tie it all up in a nice bow and relate it to dating.

I have read plenty of emails from people asking for advice, and others who freely give advice and tell me what I should write about and why. But I have never had someone begin an email asking a question, seeking out advice and end the email with figuring out what she wants to do. Until now.

I received emails regarding the last article that was printed about my co-worker Rivky and her opinion about shidduchim. A few asked to hear more about Rivky’s thoughts on shidduchim. I never thought my co-worker would be the subject of not one, but two articles, but who am I to deny the public what it wants? As I’ve written before, I usually have a few articles “ready to go,” so I am never cramming to meet the deadline. I am putting the article that I was going to submit for this week on hold, so that I may write more about Rivky’s thoughts. Think of it as a Part 2 to the article published last time – and then I hope to get back to my regular articles.