Style & Living

Friends: I have missed you all. Thank you so much for your loyal support and connection. I have been involved in projects and needed a break. A trainer taught me that rest in between sets – intervals - is part of progress. I have made much progress in many areas of my life gratefully and I have also taken a few steps backwards. I learned to accept “relapse is part of recovery.” Resisting or forcing anything is ineffective. I was controlled, hushed, and rushed most of my life.  Those days are over, thankfully!

As we count up towards Shavuos, I am increasingly aware of time going by – time I aim to use productively. Counting up as opposed to down allowed me to be present in the process, growing each day, and not focused on an end goal/date/next. It is a lesson for life, friends, since this day is all we’ve got. I changed again over Pesach and put goals in place with a plan; goals that involve other people are not within our control. Self-actualization is. I promised new beginnings. No more rinse and repeat. I am determinedly taking massive action on things put off prior, in order to know that I can count on myself. Boundaries are so important for someone like me, who tends to put others first and become distracted. I am learning. I have been blessed with the ability to transform constantly. The many diverse wonderful people who seek me out keep me on my toes. The accountability is important. Working on a singular focus is not natural for me. So I go out of my comfort zone, willingly and repeatedly. Real growth is never easy. We invest our time, our heart, and our money in what matters most. Therapies, treatments, potions, self-care, exercise facilities, coaches are not cheap or easy, but well worth it.

I don’t do almost. Almost people are the ones who repeatedly miss the boat. From a song: I’ll sing you a song that you feel. A wise colleague pinned me in a moment. He told me, “You give people significance, make them feel important, so they can imagine hope.” Hmmm. Well, it’s real. From an ad: What comes from the soul you can’t fake, can’t practice, it just is.

I read some amazing books recently: Hold Me Tight (EFT therapy for couples) and a couple of John Gottman’s books. They changed me, as did The 5 Love Languages. I have and continue to work so hard on myself in order to be the best life partner I can be when I am blessed to stand under a second chupah.

David,* a secular Jew, went with friends to hear a shiur on the Torah of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. The rav explained that every Jew can serve Hashem by focusing on what he can do today without worrying about tomorrow or the next day – one day at a time. David was intrigued. After the shiur, he went over to the rav and asked if that idea applied to someone who wasn’t religious. The rav assured him it applied to every Jew.

Israeli educator Avinoam Hersh recently shared a story about a man named Yehoshua – a story that serves as a powerful reminder that we should never lose hope.