Do you find yourself getting upset, disturbed, or distressed over the smallest things? Perhaps you know someone else who does. During times of stress, many of us have trouble restraining our emotions. The best way to reduce stress is to stop stressing about stress.
You may get overwhelmed when things in life simply do not go your way. You can end up transforming a minor squabble into a full-blown, embarrassing fight. You’re trying to make a point about something, and he seems to be getting angry and irritated. It started as a friendly exchange, but it has now escalated. He resorts to criticism or even name-calling.
Currently deleting my own peace of mind—and everyone else’s right along with it. Uh-oh. It seems like a wave of instability just came crashing down on her head. Why can’t some of us control our emotions? She always becomes defensive because she likely feels that any opposition whatsoever is an insult to her character.
Controlling my mouth is the easy part. It’s the subtitles on my face that are the problem. Sheesh. Perhaps you struggle to communicate what you mean at times. Now, negative feelings start swirling in your head, which can often lead to bad, bad decisions. Some end up damaging the very relationships they claim to care so deeply about.
Do you even know how to stop your feelings from spiraling out of control? What we need to do is build emotional discipline, sweet friends. When you become negative, chemicals rush into your brain that encourage extreme reactions or even impulsive behavior.
Unending stress at work? I’m putting in my two weeks’ notice, effective immediately—yesterday. I get it. Please do not take action until these chemicals slow down. Breathe and count to five if you need to. As they say, hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat. When those powerful feelings bubble up inside you, stop and ask yourself why that event or comment triggered such a strong emotional reaction.
Believe it or not, often the source of a feeling is not what it appears to be. Instead of expressing our feelings and looking for solutions, many of us stew in resentment. It could be that you don’t even recall why you were angry in the first place. Sound familiar?
You may seek immediate relief from your discomfort without really knowing what is going on within you. Can you name exactly what you are feeling at this very moment? Any kind of stress will affect your emotional state. How do you relieve stress daily? You don’t?
Not everything is always “fine.” Stuffing those feelings may cause you to suddenly explode outward. This will harm you and your loved ones. Create rituals and opportunities to express yourself to your loved ones and trusted friends.
Alexa, do my cardio for me. No, no. Channel your feelings into sports or your favorite hobby. This will occupy your overthinking mind and redirect your energy. What do you do to change your state of mind? Often, when you feel wronged by her, she feels the same way. Take time to think about things from her point of view.
Always look for common ground, sweet friends. As they say, doing the right thing is always the right thing.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.