Have you ever done anything wrong due to situational pressure? Indeed, you may have compromised your morals at some time or another. Do you justify your actions or take responsibility? Peer pressure can surely override your values.
And yet, it’s clearly better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. The company you keep has a huge impact on your choices. Let’s face it: There are people who can inspire you to be nothing like them. Speaking of which, I need to stop talking to myself. I think I might be a bad influence.
But seriously, the world will try to make you like everyone else. You need not be a victim of circumstance. You are a product of your decisions. I’m quite certain you believe that you are, in fact, a good person. But has a loved one ever called you out on behavior they thought was cruel or unkind?
If you’ve suffered great rejection or betrayal, you might have fantasized about revenge. But as antagonized as you felt, you did not allow yourself to become evil. Some of us are more predisposed to aggression than others. But we always have alternatives, sweet friends. And you may have to learn to place people where they place you.
Are you even aware of what happened to you in your formative years? Interesting how we easily recognize malicious or malevolent behavior in others. Do you believe that you are immune to committing a horrible act?
Know this: You are shaped by your circumstances in life. It’s been noted: The formula for a truly unhappy life is: Love things. Use people. Worship yourself. You may feel as though you have no control at times. We all do.
Yes, you have said things you regret. Me too. We struggle with bad habits and even addictions. How often do you check your phone “just in case”? Don’t you regret leaving your phone on “silent” when you can’t find it? And admit it: When you FaceTime with anyone, you’re really just looking at yourself the whole time. Me too. But remember that impulsivity leads to negative consequences. Pause before speaking or acting.
Are you friends with yourself? Are you on your own side? When someone embarrasses you, do you let the insult go? Perhaps you are left agonized or anguished. You must learn to admit to yourself who you truly are, including all sides of you, not just the pretty ones.
When you observe something unpleasant about yourself, do you automatically deny it or excuse it away? How do you really feel right now? Learning how to put your feelings into words is a hallmark of emotional health, sweet friends.
If you internalize all your pain, you may very well end up acting it out symbolically or discharging it with anger at a loved one. The world is a very risky place. We are never too far from trouble or even possible tragedy.
Yet the truth is that we have little control over world events on a global level. And yet, we wish to trust and have faith in our future. In order to achieve this, we must also learn what shape our psychological wounds have.
Please become aware of how your bad habits affect your personality. Let’s be real: Being good is difficult. It’s been said: Be the reason someone believes in good people.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.