What do y’all think of the digital age we live in, sweet friends? What do you share on social media? How many “Happy Birthdays” or “HBs” do you get on Facebook or the Gram? Some of you may view your personal life as content for your next post. Why do you suppose that is?

You may actually know a friend or family member who resists this world and is virtually nonexistent on social media—pun intended.

Instagram surely encourages us to showcase our private lives. It oftentimes subtly drives you to project a certain image. Indeed, there you are posting vacation shots and endless updates about your relationship, while others simply refuse to engage. It was once said: “For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.” Oh, and speaking of AI… never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain. Exactly.

What do these choices say about your inner world? What say you, sweet friends? Do you just view the invisible ones as shy or introverted, perhaps? Consider that not all equate online attention with their value or worth.

Social media rewards visibility and exposure. How many comments or likes did you just get? Sure, dance like no one’s watching—but text and email like it will be read in court one day. You may not realize how driven you are by comparing yourself to others. We may all crave validation, but some more than others. Some reflect instead of reacting.

There’s a world of difference between trying to understand who you are and trying to prove who you are. Are you enjoying the moment you are in, or are you now performing for the camera? Living and being present is not the same as presenting and displaying.

Many of us document our entire lives online. Some of us prefer what we feel is real connection. We believe that personal events in our lives are simply that—personal. They do not belong to everyone in our social feed.

We may not want others’ judgments or opinions about deep, powerful events in our lives. There is something quite intimate about being private and discreet. When was the last time you traveled without tagging it? They say: “Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.” You know there are two sides to every story—then there are screenshots.

But truly, if you do post often, please do not rely on digital approval or applause to confirm your self-worth. Attention does not equal value. You may get that dopamine hit when he comments or she likes your post, but above all, know who you truly are.

Listen, kids keep talking about 6-7; just wait till y’all learn about 9-5. But seriously, your identity, sweet friends, should not be built around external approval or recognition. Sharing can be wonderful; however, your motivation matters a great deal. Are you simply expressing yourself, or are you seeking validation? Be honest with yourself, please.

Anybody clean out their junk drawer and find a CD to reinstall Windows 95? But honestly, it’s uncomfortable to be judged by a digital crowd. Perhaps you can focus more on internal experiences rather than external approval. Oversharing can ultimately drain your sense of privacy or even inner peace. You know what they say: “Nowadays we smile more at bathroom mirrors and phones than people.”

You can choose to be selectively open with those whom you truly trust. Ask yourself: “What part of me do they deserve to know or see?” Let’s be honest—the mantra of our culture is “Look at me.” Some experiences are simply too meaningful to have an audience.

They can be unshared and unfiltered, and you can simply own them. And remember, your inner peace is not about being seen, sweet friends, but about being centered.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.