So just how “moody” are you? After all, we humans are truly creatures of our temperaments and tempers. How often does your mood fluctuate or rise and fall? I’ll bet at times that you can easily forgive yourself for your mistakes. At other times, your frame of mind shifts and you feel shame or undeserving of any love or respect whatsoever.
What caused your spirit to change so dramatically? You woke up in a fine mood. By noon, you may have become mired in self-pity or anger. Indeed, your temperament may always be subject to change. But you have the power to manage the fluctuation.
You can learn to be more gentle with yourself. Yes, you can contain your sadness. What seem like small things can easily modify your mood. He didn’t return your smile. Your boss berated you yet again. Ugh. Acknowledge your vulnerability.
We can be inordinately sensitive at times. You may not remain unbothered or unruffled when your so-called friend hurts your feelings. Sometimes your friend may be competitive or even harbor latent hostility toward you due to jealousy.
As always, seek out people who know how to hearten you and put you at ease. Your mistakes do not put you beyond compassion or understanding. You know what they say: You think you’re smart until you try to turn on someone else’s shower. But seriously, accept their flaws and do not be afraid to display a handful of your own.
Are you aware how much your mood is affected by how much sleep you got last night? Did you remember to hydrate at all today? When was the last time you ate a truly healthy meal? Listen, if by “crunches” you mean the sound chips make when you eat them, then yes, I do crunches. And yes, I’m a huge advocate of medicinal mozzarella. But truly, much of what passes through your mind is dependent on what is going on in your body and nervous system.
You may have convinced yourself that your professional circumstance is beyond repair. You sulk about your nonexistent love life. But these feelings are simply a passing state of mind. You need not believe them.
Put a bit of distance between your emotional state and your conscious self. You can choose the exact opposite of what your current mood commands you. It says: Curl up in bed with your flannels for the rest of the day. A flannel a day keeps the fashion police away. But truly, be courageous. Ignore that voice, and do go out for that pleasant walk in nature.
Let self-kindness be your guide. A bout of moping need not be permanent, sweet friends. Feelings will rise and fall; flow and ebb. Keep yourself plugged in to a light of tenderness and thoughtfulness.
You may be unable to shift your disposition, but you can realize that it is not permanent. With the help of time, it too shall pass. Do you actually know how to manage stress or cope with sadness? Mastering emotional regulation can literally transform your life. Wouldn’t you prefer life be much smoother?
You may be surprised to find out that you do not even know what you are actually feeling at any given time. Learn to recognize your emotions, please. It’s not as simple as good or bad; do try to label what emotion you are feeling right at this moment. I’ll wait.
It helps to pay attention to your thoughts as well as your body’s signals. Accept what you feel without judging yourself harshly. Make it a new habit to check in with yourself daily. You can learn to reframe the way you perceive situations. If you purposely change your interpretation of the event, guess what? You can change your emotional response. Ugh. He forgot to take the trash out again. How can I reframe my thoughts? By all means, I will express my frustration calmly, which will de-escalate the situation. You know what they say: If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Challenges can be viewed as opportunities for growth instead of obstacles. Please find healthy outlets for your emotions, sweet friends. Human connection plays a critical role in your mental health. So do lean on others when you need to.
As they say: You can’t have a good day with a bad attitude, and you can’t have a bad day with a good attitude.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.