Do you keep a tight rein on your impulses and control your intense appetites? What about chances you never took because you were afraid of the risks involved? Have you stayed with a job your whole life due to exaggerated fear of change? You know what they say: If you don’t take risks, you will always work for someone who does.
Can you imagine a better future for yourself right now? How do you even define a successful life, sweet friends?
If you become obsessed with safety, you may be fated to be secluded or stuck in a life that offers little joy. You know what they say: Don’t slip when carrying your breakfast—you’ll end up with egg on your face. Be bold enough to analyze the risks and returns rather than merely settling. Accept the possible downsides of the change, but do countenance the possibilities and prospects as well.
We must learn to wind down the alarms on the panic or excessive worry about our choices or the state of the world. In order to draw any enjoyment from life, please tap the brakes on the catastrophic foreboding about the future.
You may be ordinarily cautious and on the lookout for your well-being. But some are anxious or alarmed most, if not all, of the time. You might end up feeling with real certainty that something bad is bound to happen.
If you are told constantly how unsafe you are—perhaps about a virus—your mind may be jammed in a constant state of alarm. Even if the outside event changed or we came to know that there truly wasn’t anything to be particularly terrified of, we may remain hyper-vigilant. Tell them all there cannot be a crisis next week because your schedule is already full.
Your sleep and digestion will be deeply affected if your panic hormones constantly flood your body. I know. You don’t sleep much, but you got a few hours of worrying done. I get it. Speaking of which, I’m like four days past my bedtime.
But truly, it helps to put a name to your inner chaos. Start to observe how much of your daily life is held together by fear or uneasiness. Share these feelings with a trusted friend. Trust me, it will make your pain considerably more bearable.
Do your anxieties even have anxieties? At times, pressure mounts again, and we need to observe our worried mind doing its thing. If we let it, it can smash our hopes to smithereens. You must learn to push back against your inner bully, sweet friends.
You have all the inner resources to fight real danger should you be confronted with it. Try to worry only when you truly need to. Some things may honestly deserve your concern. Ask yourself: Is there anything to actually be anxious about here?
Is your inner alarm jammed in the “On” position? Perhaps you make catastrophic generalizations. Sometimes the worst place to be is in your own head. Every daunting challenge need not provoke tenseness and trepidation. Learn the skill of remaining calm.
Please learn to arrange your perceived threats into separate boxes, as it were. You cannot always trust your senses, sweet friends. They do give faulty readings at times. If you revisit your past, do so with compassion. As they say: Treat each day as your last. One day you will be right.
Please do not ruin your life due to fear and foreboding. It was once said: You don’t have to control your thoughts. You have to stop letting them control you.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.