Has anyone ever said, “You’ll understand this when you get older”? What exactly were they talking about? Have you had any awakenings or revelations in your life as you got a tad older? Perhaps you also wonder where all the time went. Wasn’t it just summertime a couple of weeks ago? Now it’s dark at 4 p.m. You know this time of year has no afternoons. It’s morning until 2 p.m., then night.

It could be that your youth was filled with prized and cherished memories with family and friends. Perhaps it still is. Maybe you have worked on many goals and aspirations which you met and are paying off as you get a tad older. I finally figured out what I want to be when I get older: younger.

Then again, you may have squandered opportunities and now realize the time you wasted you can never get back. We all survived being teenagers, where we had to learn who we were while desperately trying to fit into society at the same time. Speaking of teenagers, it’s been said: I hope you like hearing, “There’s nothing to eat!” right after you just spent your life savings at the grocery store. Welcome to parenting a teenager. Prepare for a large amount of eye-rolling, emotional outbursts, and thoughts of running away. And that’s just the parents.

But truly, I’ll bet there were times you were not even sure who you were. Perhaps you took on her style or his interests in an effort to belong. Speaking of style, here’s a special Black Friday tip: Stay at home and save 100 percent. Don’t forget to actually be yourself, sweet friends. It’s becoming nearly impossible to actually live your life courtesy of social media.

Your parents may have strong opinions about your choice of mate. Your friends may judge your career path. She can even judge you simply for how you dress, or what you eat or don’t eat. Sheesh. Some will always find negative things to say about your lifestyle and thoughts.

By all means, work on not caring. So long as you are true to your moral code and values, live life in a way that makes you fulfilled and happy. Everyone’s journey on this planet is different. Do not wait until your older and, ahem, “wiser” years to truly seize the day.

Of course, you wish to age as gracefully as you can. But believe it or not, much is simply based on genetics. There are some things you can do to avoid premature aging. Are you at that age where your back goes out more than you do? Then again, they say: Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.

Extreme dieting or exercise, or taking medically unnecessary drugs for weight loss, can harm your health and your well-being. It can even increase the risk of developing cardiovascular disease or other horrific side effects. Make healthy lifestyle changes instead. Aim for quality sleep for a healthy body. Not getting enough sleep can make you quite irritable.

Take a break when you’re overwhelmed or exhausted. Self-care is one of the most important ways to recharge.

If you get hurt more often than not, remind yourself often that humans are not creatures of logic. People are creatures of emotion, oftentimes motivated by pride and vanity. He is not judging you because of who you are, but because of what he feels inside himself. So please take your power back and stop personalizing everything she says or does.

Remember that a secure person will not feel the need to defend himself all of the time. If she said something hurtful, remind yourself that it is not about you at all. She is clearly fighting something within herself, even if she does not know it.

Take care of your mental health, please. Live a balanced life, with everything in moderation. Stop second-guessing everything and live in the moment, please. While you’re at it, don’t forget to be kind and patient with yourself. And above all, seek to be worth knowing rather than well known.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.