Are you single and tired of paying for monthly memberships to singles groups or shadchanim (matchmaker) fees?
Not only can you now join a free online matchmaking/singles group on WhatsApp, you will be in the company of over 3,000 other members searching for their bashert, many from the East Coast but others from as far afield as Cleveland, Chicago, Alaska, Canada, Panama, England, Israel and Australia.
The R&N Shidduch Chat 20’s and 30’s, which has grown so large that it has been divided into smaller groups to handle the overflow (all members still see all the posts), offers free profiles of eligible singles, links to in-person and online singles events, and a contact person for each gender to serve as a go-between (aka shadchan) between members who wish to date. What if you don’t fit into the 20- to 39-year-old age cutoff? There is a related chat for singles of all ages who are shomer Shabbat and kashrut, as well as a separate group for shadchanim.
“Making a shidduch is the most difficult thing in the world,” Natan Aboff told The Jewish Link, noting that the process of going through shadchanim channels can sometimes feel dehumanizing. At the end of the day, “I’m still a human being.”
R&N was founded in August 2024 by Aboff, 34, of Queens and his aunt, Rachel Lacher of Bergenfield. It came about, said Aboff, after his friend got kicked out of a shidduch group for not paying an $18 invoice. Aboff’s rabbi told him that if one sees a problem in this world that he should “do something” about it, and so the spark was lit. Within two and a half weeks, 1,000 people had already joined, and now five administrators run the group. “All of us spend a handful of hours on the chat every day,” Aboff said. “We’re really here to help people.”
While Aboff, who works in fundraising for Chazaq in Queens, and other administrators are single, the group benefits from the extensive experience of Rachel Lacher, a married mother in Bergenfield who has been matching up couples since the mid-1990s, including through the classic Jewish dating site SawYouAtSinai.com. Lacher, a teacher at Teaneck’s Shalom Yeladim preschool, found matchmaking to be a significant tafkid, or role, in her life, and has also arranged singles events such as comedy/magic shows and barbecues. “We really love it,” she said. “We want to make it as easy as possible.”
The group’s efforts are already beginning to bear fruit. One couple—both from Cleveland who only met through the R&N chat—have already married, and two more couples are officially engaged—one just this week: David Abramov and Joy Holi. “We hope to have many engagements,” Lacher said.
There are important rules that members must adhere to, including only having the organizers reach out to facilitate a meeting. Violators will be removed from the group. “We’re the matchmakers,” Aboff said. But the organizers also try to offer chizuk. “A lot of the singles need self-confidence,” said Aboff, who considers himself an unofficial dating coach. “They shouldn’t have to pay someone $200 an hour.” And while a formal shidduch resume isn’t a requirement to make a profile, many of the members use them to promote visibility or create an alternative one on shidduchprofile.com, which can be updated in real time and is more mobile-friendly for users than viewing a PDF document.
One of the events that Aboff is promoting is a Singles Shabbaton for Frum Young Professionals ages 20s-30s in Albany, New York. Slated for Feb. 6-8 at the Country Inn Hotel, the event will feature several shadchanim, dating coach Rabbi Shalom Weinberger and guest speaker Rabbi Dr. Jack Cohen. Contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for more information. As of press time, the cost is $399 for the weekend. Another shabbaton will be held in Chicago in March.
“You never know where you’re going to meet somebody,” Aboff said. “I spend thousands of hours making matches. I do it because when you make a shidduch, it’s the best feeling in the world.”
To join the R&N chat or learn about upcoming singles events, contact Aboff at 516-581-8485.
By Lori Silberman Brauner