Our Sages tell us that the name of an individual reflects his inner character and essence. It is what connects him to his spiritual nature, serving as the conduit that provides sustenance and nourishment to his soul. Therefore, the naming of a baby is a serious undertaking that involves great responsibility.
The Ari HaKadosh, Rabbeinu Yitzchok Luria zt”l, writes that when a father names his child for the first time, the Holy One, Blessed be He, puts the particular name required for that soul into his mouth. Thus, a name is much more than merely a title by which others may refer to him; it is a reflection of that person’s very essence—and a person must take great heed before altering his essence.
There was once a family from France that made aliyah to the Land of Israel and moved to a city near the Israeli heartland. The family was deeply observant and took great pride in their Jewish heritage. The father was careful to pray three times a day with a minyan, and the mother covered her hair and kept her kitchen to the strictest standards of kashrus. They sent their sons to excellent yeshivos and their daughters to a prominent Bais Yaakov.
Their oldest daughter was a girl by the name of Jaquelyn. She was sent to a seminary in Bnei Brak to study; however, since the school had no dormitory facilities, she found it necessary to board with one of the seminary teachers.
It was shortly after the girl had moved into the home that the teacher confronted her and asked, “I don’t understand something, Jaquelyn. We are taught that one of the reasons why Hashem delivered the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt was that they did not alter their Jewish identities, particularly their Jewish names. Indeed, throughout history, Jews have always taken pride in their Jewish names. Yet, you are called by a non-Jewish name: Jaquelyn. Don’t you realize that you stand out from all the other girls in the class because of your name? Don’t you have a real Jewish name?”
The young girl was taken aback by the direct nature of the question and immediately went on the defensive. She explained that she had moved here from France and that it was not uncommon for people there to be called by their French names. It was not a reflection of her Jewishness, she said, and she had no intention of changing it, but the teacher wouldn’t hear of it.
“Perhaps I cannot change your mind,” began the teacher, “but I’m sure that if we speak to someone with Daas Torah (a rabbinic authority with true Torah understanding), he will set you straight. Come, let us go together to the Rav, and he will tell you what your true Jewish name is!” In a flash, the teacher was out the door, followed by a reluctant Jaquelyn, as they both made their way to the home of the great Ponovezher Rosh Yeshivah, R’ Elazar Menachem Mann Shach zt”l.
When they came before the Rosh Yeshivah, the teacher described the entire situation in great detail. R’ Shach noticed the discomfort on the part of the young girl and smiled warmly. Then he said, “So tell me, what is your name?”
The girl was tongue-tied for a moment before she sheepishly responded, “Jaquelyn.”
R’ Shach continued smiling disarmingly. “Okay. And what do your parents call you?”
“Jaquelyn,” she again replied.
“And have they always called you by this name?” he inquired softly. She nodded affirmatively, less apprehensively.
“What about you?” R’ Shach continued. “Do you like this name? Do you like it when they call you by this name?”
By now, Jaquelyn was feeling a bit more confident and answered enthusiastically, “Yes! Very much so!”
R’ Shach sat back in his chair and smiled broadly. “If so, that is wonderful! It is perfectly fine for you to retain your name; there is no need whatsoever to change it!” He then blessed her with success, and they took their leave.
Teacher and student walked down the steps in silence until the teacher perceived that Jaquelyn was crying. When she looked closer, she realized that these were tears of happiness; it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her soul. Only the insight of true Daas Torah could perceive how much her name meant to her, how much it was a part of her.
Rabbi Dovid Hoffman is the author of the popular “Torah Tavlin” book series, filled with stories, wit and hundreds of divrei Torah, including the brand new “Torah Tavlin Yamim Noraim” in stores everywhere. You’ll love this popular series. Also look for his book, “Heroes of Spirit,” containing one hundred fascinating stories on the Holocaust. They are fantastic gifts, available in all Judaica bookstores and online at http://israelbookshoppublications.com. To receive Rabbi Hoffman’s weekly “Torah Tavlin” sheet on the parsha, e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.