The Medrash Tanchuma states: “Moshe sent to summon Dasan and Aviram, but they said, ‘We will not come up.’ ‘We will not go’ or ‘We will not come’ is not written here, but ‘We will not come up.’ As it says, ‘A fool’s mouth is his ruin!’ (Prov. 18:17) They opened their mouth for a calamity by saying that they would die by going down and not coming up.
Just as they spoke, so did they die. Moshe said, ‘Inasmuch as they did not want to come [to me], I shall go to them. Perhaps they will be ashamed and repent.’ When they saw him, they began to curse and blaspheme, as stated, ‘and Dasan and Aviram came out standing.’ Does one go out sitting or lying prostrate? It is simply to teach us that they went out cursing and blaspheming.”
There was once a couple that was experiencing shalom bayis problems. Counseling and therapy sessions did not help, and it was decided that a divorce was necessary. Inquiries were made, and a date and time were set for the husband and wife to appear in Beis Din; however, the woman refused to attend. She was bitter. She felt she was terribly wronged in the process and insisted that she would not accept a get under any conditions.
The husband arranged for the get to be written in the Beis Din of R’ Moshe Feinstein zt”l, on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Afterward, R’ Moshe appointed one of his talmidim to serve as a shaliach, a messenger, to deliver the get to the woman in the presence of two witnesses who were to accompany him.
The group set off for the woman’s apartment, located in one of the seedier sections of Manhattan, but when they arrived, she refused to let them in and absolutely refused to accept the get. She yelled and screamed at them, but would not let them in. They had no choice but to come back to R’ Moshe and report that their mission was unsuccessful.
R’ Moshe was undaunted. In a flash, he grabbed his hat and coat and headed out the door, telling the messenger and witnesses to follow him. Together, they traveled back to the woman’s apartment, navigated through some unwelcome aspects of the city, and traipsed up four flights of stairs, as the building elevator was not in service. R’ Moshe was not a young man, and this trip was a bit arduous for him, but he never complained even once the entire time.
They knocked at the apartment door, and a man opened it. It was her father. He saw the group of rabbis standing there in rabbinic garb and immediately let loose a barrage of insults, profanity, and vitriolic words, in essence telling them to get out of there and that his daughter was not going to listen to them. R’ Moshe just stood there and waited for the man to finish. When he finally did, the Gadol HaDor gently explained that if he would allow them a few short minutes, they would be gone right away. It took some more convincing, but eventually, the man allowed the group into the apartment.
The woman emerged from a side room and recognized R’ Moshe. She listened to him calmly explain how tragic it would be for so many people involved if this situation would continue to linger, and how important it was for her to accept the get and move on in life. His words struck a chord, and it wasn’t long before she willingly accepted the get.
R’ Moshe led the group of men outside, and they began to walk back to his home. One of the men could not contain his curiosity and asked, “Rebbi, please forgive me for asking, but why did the Rav have to come in person? He is a widely respected Rosh Yeshivah and the head of the Beis Din. He could have sent numerous people, an unlimited number of messengers until the job was done, yet he went himself and was made to suffer the indignity of insults, the strain of traveling, and the effort of climbing so many flights of stairs. It is surely beneath his kavod to do these things.”
R’ Moshe stopped walking and looked at the man. “I don’t understand your issue. Do you think that in these types of situations, I need to be concerned with my own kavod? What about kavod Shamayim? What about the honor of Hashem Yisborach? If she were not to accept the get and later got married again, can you imagine the disrespect to kavod Shamayim that would bring? Is there a greater level of indignity and insult than that?”
Rabbi Dovid Hoffman is the author of the popular “Torah Tavlin” book series, filled with stories, wit and hundreds of divrei Torah, including the brand new “Torah Tavlin Yamim Noraim” in stores everywhere. You’ll love this popular series. Also look for his book, “Heroes of Spirit,” containing one hundred fascinating stories on the Holocaust. They are fantastic gifts, available in all Judaica bookstores and online at http://israelbookshoppublications.com. To receive Rabbi Hoffman’s weekly “Torah Tavlin” sheet on the parsha, e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.