Recap: The real mother calls and Sabrina begs her to come pick her up. Marnie won’t speak to her. Sabrina leaves the phone call in tears but says everything is okay. The phone rings again, and when Libby answers, a man’s voice threatens her not to speak to anyone or she’ll regret it, and the phone clicks off.
It was almost Shabbos, so I turned my energies and thoughts to preparing for the Shabbos bride. There was nothing I could do now about the strange call, and I decided I wouldn’t let it ruin my Shabbos. I called the girls in to help me set the table and set up the candles.
Marnie and Sabrina had already showered, so I directed Lauren to take a quick shower before Avi came home.
As I lit the candles with the three girls watching me, I felt a pull of warmth and love as if Hashem was embracing me. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity of having the girls here with us this Shabbos. Thank you, Hashem.
I realized that this was the first time in a very long time that I wasn’t feeling an ache of loneliness dreaming of a baby. I felt that Hashem was in charge, and He would bring me a baby when it was time, and right now, I had a full house and I felt so blessed.
Avi offered to bless each of the girls. Sabrina and Lauren ran over for their brachah. Avi turned to Marnie. “Would you like a brachah?” Marnie nodded solemnly.
“My daddy doesn’t do this,” Lauren said. “I wish he did.”
“My daddy doesn’t do it, too,” Sabrina said.
“He wouldn’t do it,” Marnie whispered.
I glanced towards Avi. It was the first time I’d heard either girl mention her father.
After we cleared the dishes and the girls were in bed, I handed Avi a dish to put away. “I wish Marnie would tell me about her feelings, you know, about her parents and all. She’s so closed,” I whispered. “And she still doesn’t call us Tante or Feter. She doesn’t call us anything.”
“Sabrina is doing it.”
I smiled. “One night, when I was tucking her in, she called me Mommy.”
“Libby, remember what I told you. Don’t get too attached.”
I sighed.
Avi turned to me. “It’s a big breakthrough that Marnie mentioned her father at all. It means she’s starting to feel comfortable. You have to give her time. Don’t rush her. Don’t ask anything.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
…
After Kiddush, we all filed into the kitchen to wash. Marnie helped Lauren with the brachah.
The challahs were delicious.
“I like your heart shapes,” Avi said.
Sabrina and Lauren smiled and nodded to each other.
“Who wants to help serve the soup?” I asked.
They all came into the kitchen to help.
As we were finishing the soup course, Avi said, “Let’s go around and share hashgachah stories. Tell something really good that happened this week that makes you feel that Hashem is with you.”
Avi announced, “I’ll start. I got a really good chavrusa – a study partner – now. He just came to yeshivah and he’s really good for me.”
Avi nodded towards me.
“I got three beautiful girls staying with me. That’s hashgachah for sure,” I said.
“What’s your hashgachah?” Avi asked Lauren.
“I got to be here for Shabbos. I love Shabbos and I met two new friends.”
Sabrina bit into a piece of challah. “I got a pretty room and Marnie came.”
Marnie looked down at her lap. “We found a place to be together,” she whispered.
After dinner, the girls helped me clear, and then Marnie helped me tuck the little ones in. She had a Shabbos lamp near her bed, and she pulled out a book to read.
“What are you reading?” I asked.
“It’s really good. Denver Dreams.”
“Oh, yeah, I read that one.”
When we were alone, I told Avi about the phone call.
“Did you call that FBI agent?”
“It was right before Shabbos.”
“Libby, it sounds like a serious threat. You should have called them.”
My stomach clenched. “I’m sorry. Now what?”
“We’ll be vigilant, as that agent said, but you really should have called. We’re responsible now for these three little girls.”
“I feel terrible.”
“Let’s daven for protection.”
…
The next day, we headed to shul. Sabrina was wearing the new patent leather Mary Jane Shabbos shoes and blue-and-white Shabbos dress that I’d bought her. Lauren wore a pretty yellow dress.
“I’m so glad I told Mommy I needed a dress. She almost forgot that I needed one for Shabbos,” Lauren said. “I told her I need a dress for Shabbos.”
When we reached the shul, I showed the girls where the children’s room was, and I pointed to the women’s section so they could come get me if they needed me.
Marnie followed me to the women’s section and sat down next to me. I like coming early, so I was pleased we made it before the davening began.
The early morning light sifted through the window, shining on the stained glass Chagall windows on either side of the shul.
I pulled out my siddur and began to speak to my Tatty, as my friend Aliza would say. Marnie stayed beside me the whole time.
When davening ended, the little girls ran into the sanctuary and piled next to me. I looked around. Here I was, like the other young women surrounded by children, and it felt so right and so good. It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel that empty, jealous feeling, watching the other women with their toddlers and children.
We strolled home from shul. Avi was chatting with his chavrusa, and I was behind with the girls. It was so right having the children with us. Sabrina stopped to watch a cat and I turned back. “Come on, Sabrina.”
…
That night, after Havdalah, Mrs. Kahn called. “How is it going?”
“Baruch Hashem,” I said, wondering why she was calling now.
“She’s coming when? Oh, I see. Okay.”
After the girls were in bed, I told Avi about the call.
“Mrs. Lerner wants to come before Pesach to see the girls and bring them presents for Pesach.”
Avi looked up from the sefer he was learning. “Libby, are you okay with that?”
At least it gave me a month to get used to the idea.
I kept clearing dishes from the Shabbos table. “I don’t think I have a choice.”
I felt this heavy feeling inside as I carried the dishes to the sink.
Avi followed me into the kitchen. “We knew when the girls came that it was temporary. They will go back to their parents.”
“I know.” I turned on the water and started sponging a plate. “It’s just so hard. Avi, I feel so attached, especially to Sabrina, and Marnie needs extra time and love. Things may be really bad there. I don’t want them to go back to a––”
“The agency won’t allow that. Don’t worry. They will make sure everything is stable.”
“What if she comes and wants to take them with her?”
“I doubt that will happen. There would have to be more time to prepare the girls.”
I continued sponging the same plate, which really had been sponged enough. “I wish she wasn’t coming…”
To be continued…
Susie Garber is the author of Please Be Polite (Menucha Publishers 2022), A Bridge in Time (Menucha Publishing 2021), Secrets in Disguise (Menucha Publishers 2020), Denver Dreams, a novel (Jerusalem Publications, 2009), Memorable Characters…Magnificent Stories (Scholastic, 2002), Befriend (Menucha Publishers, 2013), The Road Less Traveled (Feldheim, 2015), fiction serials and features in Binah Magazine and Binyan Magazine, and “Moon Song” in Binyan (2021-2022).