I know. Sometimes you wish you were full of tacos instead of emotions. If you don’t like tacos, I’m nacho type. Heh. Are you too stressed to deal with your stress? Please don’t be afraid to acknowledge and feel your feelings. But don’t forget: Emotions are your worst enemy in the stock market. Feelings are like waves. You can’t stop them from coming, but you get to choose which ones to surf. Remember, you can do anything – but not everything, sweet friends.
If you try fighting your sensitivities, you surely won’t win. Suppressing those intense, scary feelings can ultimately cause them to escalate or even flood you at a later date. You can’t outrun something that is inside of you.
You started the week with a big box of patience. But the box is empty now. Unacknowledged emotions will often leak out in damaging ways. Try giving those feelings some attention so that you can figure out what they are trying to tell you.
Allowing yourself to feel anger, pain, or loss can be overwhelming. But thinking about the sorrow or wallowing in the discomfort is not the same as simply permitting yourself to feel. When we do not share our sadness, or get support and feedback from our friends or loved ones, they tend to mutate and cause us unending anxiety or chronic worry. Sometimes all we need is a bit of perspective. Others can see our problems in a different light.
Please stop magnifying. An annoyance or aggravation is not a debacle or disaster. Do not make it one. Can this problem be solved with some time, effort or money? The trick is to stop thinking of it as “your” money, says every IRS auditor. But truly, keep that panoramic perspective, please. And stop holding those grudges. Why are you choosing to do the time for someone else’s crime? Is your worst enemy still living between your ears?
When we are angry or fearful, we get charged up on adrenaline. Do not make any decisions just yet. In some ways, we are lizards, my friends. The lizard has nothing but a limbic system for brain function. What on earth does that mean, Caroline? Well, the limbic cortex is the system of our brains that is the seat of emotion and mood. It is responsible for fight, flight, fear, and freezing up.
When you feel threatened, it allows you to react in an automatic way. But is there really a “danger” that you have convinced yourself you are reacting to? Do not allow yourself bad temper or fits of indulgence, blaming it all on your inner beast. You are responsible for your actions. Rely on trusted friends and loved ones. It’s all right. We all need others. Please do not replace connection with protection.
So how do you clear those ole cobwebs in your mind? Our minds and bodies need to reboot and refresh. And as long as we are rebooting things, how about rebooting my life 20 pounds ago with less debt?
Okay, how do you revitalize? Take a deep breath and get out into the natural world. Walk around the block and just wait until you can move through the distressing feeling. Psychological states are temporary.
Reality rarely conforms to our expectations. It’s noon, and you can hardly wait till bedtime. It’s okay. You’re simply a human being with unmet needs. What may have started out as a bad day does not have to last till the end of the day. Ask yourself some questions: Am I just too tired today? Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired. Heh. Are you retired? You were tired yesterday and you’re tired again today?
Am I worrying about a situation that I have no control over? Did I have one too many cups of coffee? On Sundays, your coffee is recreational; but during the week, it’s medicinal. I get it. How to approach me before I’ve had my coffee? Step 1: Don’t. But seriously, carve out some time to do something you absolutely love.
Walk, dance, or hike to burn off that crazy. Find a park. Of all the paths you take, make sure some of them are dirt. May the “forest” be with you. Branch out and shrub it all off. No ifs, ands, or buds. And always take the scenic route. Trust me: It’s not the destination; it’s the journey.
Your feelings are all normal, sweet friends. You felt them before and chances are you will feel them again. If you keep that in mind, it can offset some of the heat of the moment for you. Do not feed every thought you have. But remember that sometimes you have to let yourself just “have one of those days.”
Focus on yourself. Someone may have hurt you or let you down. But know this: You never make your life better by trying to make someone else’s worse. Please reflect on all the good things you have in your life right now. Treat yourself the way you treat your loved ones.
We don’t feel the same and we don’t heal the same. So strive to be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.