Yesterday you did nothing, and today you’re finishing what you did yesterday. Oh, no. Being stuck in this Rona rut is truly a recipe for disaster. Things have gone so insanely off course that we cannot simply get over it. You’re drained mentally, done emotionally, and exhausted physically. The government’s “solution” to a problem is most often worse than the problem itself.
You try not to get lost in this ongoing COVID catastrophe, but the media is relentless with updates 24/7. Open the restaurants; close them. Re-open the schools; shut the playgrounds. Off, on, in, out. Lather, rinse, repeat. Make up your mind. Grant yourself permission to stop believing and feeding on everything the media reports as “Science.” A doctor agrees with them? Remember that it’s been said: “No science is immune to the infection of politics, and the corruption of power.” Respect is for those who earn and deserve it – not for politicians or even physicians who demand it.
Remember when you used to get excited about canceled plans? Life sure does seem to be serving up lessons as of late. People are tossing around lots of words of wisdom, positivity, and motivation. But the only thing you gained in 2020 is weight? I hear you. Your fitness goal is to get down to what you told the DMV that you weigh. Your expectations may be lowering faster than the ball in Times Square.
Please fill your moments with activities that feel restful to your weary mind and heart. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Then tell them how you would like to feel. Share what you want, not what you think you should want right about now. Challenge yourself. What would I truly like to experience in my life? What do I wish to create? Who do I want to be?
Set goals and don’t forget mile markers for your journey. What are you willing to give up in order to achieve them? Make small daily efforts. Are you stuck between: “Try harder” and “Why bother?” Not sure how to make that change? Trust me: Doing something – anything – is always helpful.
Wouldn’t you rather look toward your dreams for the future rather than the history of your past? Sometimes we do play a role in making our life the painful web it has become. Our insecurities, resentments, anger, or demands of others prevent inner freedom. Your low mood may be quite persistent as you are warned to cancel plans, lose touch with friends and loved ones, and cannot even look forward to your normal work routine. This whole “working for a living thing” goes on for how long? Heck, the best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
We are all wired for accomplishment and growth. Why not choose something you are good at and become great at it? Observe how many times a day you use the word “can’t.” Think your way out of the challenge. Yes, you can. How often do you complain, even about the weather? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 72,456 times, you’re a weather man. Snowstorm coming and bosses be like: “You still coming to work, right?” Speaking of which, did you hurry to the supermarket to get those essentials: cookies, ice cream, and wine?
Do you enjoy complaining as much as doing nothing about it? Perhaps you change your complaints but not the amount of time you spend complaining. How often do you use the word “still”? I’m still broke. I’m still [fill in the blank]. A positive attitude may or may not change the outcome, but one thing that surely will not is fussing, fretting, and stressing.
The novelty of Covey lockdowns and unending quarantine wore off months ago, and so have some of those grandiose plans for self-improvement. You’re sick of whipping up that Martha Stewart sourdough bread. Ever notice that the odds of going to the supermarket for a loaf of bread, and coming home with just a loaf of bread, are a million to one? You promised yourself you’ll learn that new language. But who needs to learn Italian if you can’t even go to Italy? By the way, can Italians even communicate with a hands-free device? Believe it or not, some even miss their morning commute. Hopefully your commute is only half as awful as the job you’re commuting to. C’mon, there are loads of things you love about your job: payday, vacation, holidays, lunchtime, quitting time, and oh…retirement.
It’s okay to be sick and tired of paddling this bizarre canoe we have all been tossed into together. But please bear in mind that although you are a speck of dust compared to the universe, what you do does matter in the grand scheme of things. It matters a lot. Now more than ever, sweet friends, take each day as it comes. Do whatever it takes to stay as buoyed up and as easy in your mind as possible. So what would you ask for if you knew the answer was “Yes”?
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.