Soooo, what do you want? No, not for dinner, but out of your life. Oh, your favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. Uh, oh. Well, this is me wanting something: I see it. I like it. I want it. I check the price. I put it back. Lol. Having trouble answering what it is you truly wish for? It’s okay. Trust me on this, my friends. It is not easy to know the difference between what we want and possibly what others want for us. No one is the expert on you. You are. So if you cannot answer honestly, how about we explore why you can’t.

What leaps to mind when you think about what you long for? A different career, relationship, the means and time to travel? We are all faced with an endless sea of possibilities. How about you start with what you know for sure. Don’t worry about the details for now. Going with the proverbial flow and always doing what is expected of you may take you down the wrong path, sweet friends. After all, this is your journey.

Okay, tell me your dream job. Oh, in your dreams you don’t work. Heh. And remember, you may get the job you want, but not the life you wanted along with it. Sacrificing your dreams for others may sound noble at first, but can quickly lead to resentment and misery in the long run. Perhaps you need to figure out what you don’t want. By noting what bothers you about your job, or relationships, you can set about trying to fix them, if at all possible.

By all means share your goals or dreams with loved ones. Maybe they have some creative ideas you have not yet thought of. We all end up taking detours at times. That does not mean you will never get to the Promised Land. Persevere. You deserve to be happy.

Above all, keep seeking. Have you ever felt that one piece of knowledge or an insight changed the whole outcome of your life? No need to know your final destination – just which direction you are headed in. Fastest way to find out? Self-discipline. Perhaps that is not a popular concept, but ignoring that negative committee that meets in your head is a surefire way to get what you want out of your life. Do not RSVP to your own pity parties.

Keep moving. Get out of that comfy bed and head to the gym. Now. I know what you’re thinking. How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just putting my hair in a ponytail. Lol. I get it, trust me. If by “crunches” you mean the sound potato chips make – then, yes, you do them. Lol. But seriously, Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live in.

Do not fear uncertainty, please. It was once said that we humans actually learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it, than we do from finding the answer itself.

Just keep taking those tiny steps forward. Too stressed out, you say? There’s a difference between life being stressful and you entertaining stressful thoughts, my friends. It’s time to take those negative notions in your head less seriously. Our minds can’t always be trusted. It helps us delude ourselves, and rationalize nearly everything we do.

Mental and physical energy puts a strain on your body and mind. At the end of the day, please relax and allow them to recover from their efforts. Sometimes it is okay to “Just Do It” later.

Think about what kind of experiences you would like to have. What would your ideal day be like? Wow, that’s a lovely shade of green you are wearing today. Whom do you secretly envy? What are they doing, and what do they have that you also yearn for? That may be a clue to what you want to be, and how to get there.

And don’t forget: Even dreams require a strategy if you want to fulfill them. Here’s to chasing your dreams in the coolest shoes you own. Expect that what you wish to come to pass actually will. If it does not manifest, then perhaps it was not meant to be. Visualize in great detail something you want badly – every sight, sound, and even scent. Practice small, and then try to see even your biggest hopes in your mind’s eye. Form that mental picture to give it life and bring it into existence for yourself. It’s kind of like daydreaming, but with a purpose. And once you truly visualize, you can materialize, sweet friends.

 Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.