Your career is on track, your social life is booming, and you are father and mother of the year, eh? Happiness and inner peace are your constant companions. Or maybe not. Perhaps you’re feeling stuck and don’t know how to “unstuck” yourself. One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next day you’re toast.

First off, we are all told to set goals. I get it. To reach your goal, however, you have to get out of bed. Sheesh. Knowing what you want is a surefire way to get it. But may I suggest something else? Instead of setting objectives, make a list of feelings you would love to have. That’s right. Want to feel calmer? Don’t we all? Then perhaps a yoga or meditation class can be your new goal. You know, sometimes you need to “bend” so you don’t break.

No, you were not just born to pay bills and die. So you grew up living paycheck to paycheck; but through hard work and perseverance, you now live direct-deposit to direct-deposit. Your job may fill your pocket, but it won’t fill your soul. Want to feel more creative? Pick up that instrument you once knew how to play years ago. Imagine how you will feel once you do it. Or visualize yourself doing whatever you think is mood-boosting for you. Don’t call it a dream. Call it a plan. Then make one. Great things are done by a series of small things all brought together. So why haven’t you started yet? The best way to get it done – is to just start. Nothing wrong with being a goal digger, sweet friends.

Stay close to anyone who makes you feel glad to be alive. Don’t waste time hurting or hating those who hate you. Instead, get busy loving the ones who adore and admire you. P.S. If you send them ugly selfies, the friendship is real.

You are not a product of your circumstances, my friends. You are a product of your decisions. Choose to be brave, and face your challenges in life because guess what? They’re coming, whether we do or not. You are stronger than your troubles and the mess you may be in. Disappointment, loss, heartbreak, trauma, sickness, or betrayal: Life offers them all. You may think you cannot go on for one more day. But somehow you do. You will get through this. Train your brain to believe that.

You need to be pickier with those thoughts of yours, by the way. If they are negative ones, please do not entertain them simply because they showed up. One of the best ways to clear your mind is to go out in Nature. They say: “Get lost in Nature, and you will find yourself.” Trust me; it will help you avoid all those things that are taking your sanity away right now. Nature never goes out of style.

You may have to face some of your fears, if you do not want them to limit you. The only thing that flat-earthers fear is sphere itself. Heh. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. You know what they say: Do not fear childbirth. That’s the easy part. There’s no epidural for motherhood. Lol. Just kidding, kids. And remember that faith can move mountains, but your doubts can create them. Choose faith over fear always.

Yes, life is unpredictable, unforeseeable, and uncertain. No more sleepwalking through it. Think about what you want before you fret about how you are going to get it. You know that part of your life that you put on “hold”? Stop living vicariously through TV and movie characters. Then again, Math class for me was like watching a foreign film with no subtitles. But I digress…

And yes, we do have to accept what we don’t like in our lives and move forward anyway. Some situations simply will not be ideal. Focus on the things you can control and please do not obsess about the outcome. Start your day with a positive thought like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.” Lol.

You know those things you always wanted to do? Go do them.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.